BharatSpace

Sunny Leone beats Katrina, Kareena, Aishwarya

2011-12-19T07:48:00.000-05:00

Porn star Sunny Leone has been crowned India’s most googled celebrity, beating Bollywood divas Katrina Kaif, Kareena Kapoor and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

It is believed that her stint inside the Bigg Boss house has helped her to top the charts with fans searching for her five times more than Katrina, twice as many as Aishwarya and nine times more than Kareena.

Data collected from Google Trends reveals that her biggest fans are based in Noida where surfers have clocked up the most number of searches downloading photos and videos followed by Bhubaneswar, Ludhiana and Bhopal.

Filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt, who had met the star inside the house and offered her a role in his next film, Jism 2, said that he was not surprised by her popularity.

“This is not a sudden phenomenon. The world has a sweet tooth for sex and it has been happening since the dawn of time,” the Mirror quoted him as saying.

“I don’t have a crystal ball to predict her future. She is a woman of rare integrity who is in the driving seat of life and is not apologetic about what she does,” he added.

Osama Bin Laden is Killed in Pakistan

2011-05-01T23:27:00.003-04:00

WASHINGTON: Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the September 11, 2001, terror attacks that killed thousands of Americans, was killed in an operation led by the United States, President Barack Obama said on Sunday.

The U.S. had been waiting for the results of a DNA test to confirm his identity before going public. Sources said the vice president informed congressional leaders late Sunday night that bin Laden had indeed been killed.

The al-Qaeda leader was killed in a mansion outside Islamabad in an operation based on actionable US intelligence, CNN reported. US armed forces have been hunting the Saudi terror kingpin for years, an effort that was redoubled following the attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon which killed 3,000 people. But Bin Laden always managed to evade US armed forces and a massive manhunt, and was most often thought to be hiding out in Pakistan and Afghanistan border areas.

YSR the most corrupt politician

2009-03-04T15:55:00.002-05:00

Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister Y.S. Rajasekhara Reddy has been presiding over large-scale corruption in the State, with huge amounts of money being made and squandered by a small group of influential politicians and their friends and relatives. Loopholes in the rulebook have been cleverly exploited, with the Chief Minister’s son Y.S. Jagan Mohan Reddy and a clique of favoured industrialists emerging as major beneficiaries.

Covert has acquired documents to prove how insidious the entire operation is, with internal benchmarks of bids being changed to favour select companies, pre-bidding rules flouted for friends and relatives, Waqf properties sold for a song, and individuals and companies that invested in son Jagan Mohan Reddy’s huge media enterprise rewarded with other lucrative projects in Andhra Pradesh.

It is not usual even for corrupt Governments to float tenders, open the bids, and then cancel the internal benchmark value and upload a new value higher than the first figures by nearly Rs 400 crores. The Y.S.R. Government in Andhra Pradesh set a record of sorts when it did exactly that for the prestigious Sripada Sagar irrigation project in 2005. The tender process for the project for lifting water from the Godavari River for the irrigation of two lakh acres in the State, was openly rigged, and despite strong political protests the Reddy Government continued to defend the blatant violation of rules.

The Government floated a tender for the project through an advertisement in newspapers in January 2005. The bids were opened in March of the same year, after which Rs 1,344 crores was uploaded on the internet as the internal benchmark on 15 March 2005 as the lowest bid. Two days later, it is learnt, the chief engineer issued telephonic instructions to the executive engineer, and the very next day the Rs 1,344 benchmark was cancelled and Rs 1,725 crores was uploaded on the internet as the new internal benchmark value. The tender acceptance letter was issued by the Principal Secretary, Irrigation Department to the consortium IVRCL SEW Navayuga.

Opposition parties noticed the change in the benchmark and went to town protesting what they alleged was open corruption. A short duration discussion was also held in the State Assembly, but the Government refused to budge. The Opposition alleged that the Government had tampered with the files. The Telugu Desam Party wrote to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh asking him to intervene to stem what they claimed was “large scale and brazen corruption being indulged in, under cover of irrigation projections by Dr Y.S.R. Reddy, Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh”. The letter also pointed out that there was no change in the area of ayacut, number of tanks, pipeline, designs etc., and the hike in figure was totally ad hoc. The Prime Minister did not respond.

In 2007, a CAG report took a serious view of the corruption in irrigation, and said clearly that the estimates prepared by the contractors were at variance with each other. Despite this the consultants had not been made responsible for any of the deviations. The CAG report said that the procedure, through which the work was allotted, gave undue benefit to the contractors, and budget estimates had been inflated by Rs 349.85 crores. This also did not elicit any action by the State Government.

The corruption was visible from the preliminary stage. Documents with Covert prove that rules were flouted even at the pre-bidding stage to favour two companies that finally got the contract. A pre-qualification for participating in the bidding as advertised by the Government on 27-06-04 and 19-11-04 was that a company should have a consistent Rs 400-crore turnover for at least five years. For the consortium it was clarified that the lead company should meet this requirement, while the others should have a Rs 100-crore turnover for the same period of time. Despite this, a consortium of at least five companies that did not meet this requirement was given the contract.

The figures for the consortium below for the two previous years before they bid for the contract tells the story of rules being overturned to favour “favourites”:

THE STINK OF CEMENT

Covert has documents to prove that there are links between many other projects and companies floated by the Chief Minister’s son Y.S. Jagan Mohan Reddy. A copy of the resolution passed at the board meeting of the directors of M/s Raghuram Cements Limited, held at the registered office in Sagar Society, Road No. 2, Banjara Hills, Hyderabad on 25 January 2007 at 10 a.m. resolved that the company “do allot 4,20,10,000 equity shares of Rs 10/ each” to:

Y.S. Jagan Mohan Reddy 3,00,00,000

M/s Silicon Bulders 1,20,00,000

D. Prabhakar Reddy 2,000

Jella Jagan Mohan Reddy 2,000

G. Murali 2,000

B.M. Prabhakar 2,000

Ms Elizabeth George 2,000

Covert has a copy of several Board resolutions of this company, confirming that Jagan Mohan Reddy is the director of Raghuram Cements and fully authorised to deal with the financial transactions. It is learnt that India Cements, Dalmia Cements and G2 Corporate Services invested in the company, before it had even started production. Dalmia Cements bought the shares on two occasions, 29-03-07 and 26-02-08, first time by investing Rs 8 crores on purchase of 1,666,600 shares at a premium of Rs 110 per share, and on the second time, Rs 19.86 crores for 137,931 shares at Rs 1,440 premium per share, totalling Rs 27.9 crores.

Former Home Minister in a Congress Government and now Rajya Sabha member with the TDP, Mysoora Reddy told this correspondent, “Even before Raghuram Cements started construction, these companies bought their shares at an inflated premium and in return benefited in other ways from Y.S.R. Reddy and his Government.” Mr Reddy said that Dalmia Cements got licences for mining and construction in Cudappah district from the Chief Minister, who also used his influence in Delhi as a “Sonia Gandhi favourite” to get railway tracks laid for facilitating the movement of goods.

SAKSHI: INVESTMENTS AND REWARDS

The Chief Minister’s son, Y.S. Jagan Mohan Reddy is emerging as a major business figure in Andhra Pradesh. He has also set up the huge Jagathi Publications Pvt. Ltd. that runs a Telugu newspaper, Sakshi. Senior politicians in Hyderabad are surprised at the “financial progress” made by Jagan Mohan in just a matter of years. Congress MP V. Hanumantha Rao told Covert, “This boy was nothing in 2004 [when Y.S.R. came to power] and now he has a lot of businesses, two or three companies can be understood, but so many…” Congress members are particularly worried that on the eve of the Lok Sabha and Assembly elections, the Opposition will be able to get sufficient mileage from the commercial deals of the top Reddy family.

Documents with Covert show that 32 companies have invested in Sakshi, with the share capital of each running into several crores. Gilchrist Investments Private Limited, with Nimmagadda Prakash, brother of Nimmagadda Prasad, as managing director, has a share capital in Sakshi of nearly Rs 40 crores. Nimmagadda Prasad is an individual investor along with India Cements, Dalmia Cements and G2 Corporate Services in Raghuram Cements. Prasad bought the Rs 10 face value shares at a premium of Rs 175, totalling Rs 8.5 crores, like others, before the production started. He was allotted 459,459 shares.

Gilchrist Investments is registered in Chennai, but Nimmagadda Prakash has given his address in the records as Plot 376, Defence Colony, Sainikpuri, Secunderabad. The other managing director of the company listed in the records is Nimmagadda Vijayasaradhi, also a resident of Plot 376 with the same address.

Another company investing in Sakshi, Carmel Asia Holdings Private Limited has the Chief Minister’s son Y.S. Jagan Mohan Reddy as the director, with a total investment in Sakshi of Rs 50 crores. He bought the shares in his own company for Rs 10, while most of the other companies investing in Sakshi paid a premium of Rs 350 per share. Yet another company, Alpha Villas Pvt. Ltd. that has invested in Sakshi, is part of Jagan Mohan Reddy’s circle of friends and family. Its MD is Nimmagadda Vijayasaradhi, with the same registered address of Plot 376, Defence Colony, Sainikpuri, Secunderabad. The directors, Brahamadi Maheshwar Reddy and Ghanta Sunitha Rani have not given their full addresses but listed these as Sainikpuri, Secunderabad.

Sources said that several of the companies investing in Jagan Mohan Reddy’s pet Sakshi project have been rewarded with other projects. For instance, Hetero Limited that has invested nearly Rs 4 crores in Sakshi, has been allocated a pharmaceutical SEZ at Polyppaly. The CAG, in its report, had pulled up the Government for non-compliance of Government of India guidelines. The CAG has criticised the allotment of 75 acres each to Aurobindo Pharma and Hetero Drugs Pvt. Ltd. on lease basis. The CAG report raises questions about what the critics of the project were alleging: the leniency of the terms on which the land was allotted. The lease premium was a nominal Rs 7 lakhs per acre and an annual rental of just 1% on lease premium, i.e., Rs. 7,000 per acre for 25 years. The CAG had also rejected the Government rebuttal to its report that claims adherence to Government of India guidelines.

THE VANPIC link

Jagathi Publications Private Limited and Raghuram Cements are also the key companies behind the huge Vanpic Project. The State Government has exploited every loophole to seal this Rs 5,000-crore project that involves the acquisition of 25,000 acres of land in the State. The Andhra Pradesh Government, to avoid floating global tenders, entered into a direct memorandum of understanding with the Government of Ras Al Khaimah [RAK] in March 2008 to develop an integrated port, and port-based industries consisting of a port for handling bulk cargo, liquid cargo terminal, ship building industry requirements, container terminal etc., all collectively referred to as the VANPIC project. The MoU provided very clearly for an Indian partner, and this was finally extended to include Matrix Enport Holdings Pvt. Ltd., Vanpic Ports Pvt. Ltd. and Genex Structural Projects Pvt. Ltd. Sources said that these companies were incorporated by Nimmagadda Prasad and his brother N. Prakash who are, as pointed out earlier, individual investors in their close friend Jagan Mohan Reddy’s ventures. Under the agreement, RAK holds 51% of the stakes and the remaining 49% is with the associates of Matrix Enport.

It is common knowledge in Hyderabad that Vanpic is being run by Nimmagadda Prasad and Prakash through their nominees and relatives. Directors at one point included C.H. Ravi Reddy who is also the director of Alpha Avenues that had invested in Sakshi; and K. Venkateshwarag Reddy also with Gilchrist Investments that has major shares in Sakshi. The links between the Chief Minister, his son, their relatives and friends are well established through these mega projects cleared by the State Government. Only recently Y.S.R. Reddy directed the companies and Government officials to expedite the land acquisition for VANPIC, and given the fact that Andhra Pradesh is going for elections now, expressed his worry that the project was behind schedule.

MAYTAS, SATYAM AND METRO

No rules apply in Andhra Pradesh under Chief Minister Reddy, who wilfully orders officials to clear deals and projects in violation of all laws. The link between the Congress and Satyam’s Ramalinga Raju, who is now under arrest for a major corporate scam, is established through the manner in which the bid for the multi-crore Hyderabad Metro Rail project was finalised, and the rules totally violated with full connivance of the Reddy Government. The financial bids for the rail project were opened on 23 July 2008 by a three-member committee comprising the principal secretary of the Finance Department, the MD of Metro Rail and the MD of the Water Board. Instead of being recorded immediately, the minutes of the meeting were entered two days later on 25 July after the bids were opened. The official announcement was made on 28 July. The committee finalised the bid for the Navbharat-led consortium including Maytas, IL&FS and ItalThai. Of these the last had technical expertise having major construction experience in Thailand. Centre for Economic and Social Studies researcher C. Ramchandraiah, who has been closely following this case, told Covert in Hyderabad that on 25 July 2008 itself, Deputy Chairman of the Planning Commission, Montek Singh Ahluwalia wrote to the Prime Minister, citing the bid in Hyderabad, to state that “we are engaged in pushing for a similar effort for other metropolitan cities”. Mr Ramachandraiah said it was strange that Dr Ahluwalia was aware of the outcome of the bid in Hyderabad even before it had been publicly announced.

The minutes of the meeting spoke of the “Navabharat-led consortium”, indicating that Navabharat was the lead company in the group. The financial bid of the consortium was also presented on the letterhead of Navabharat Ventures Limited by its director [finance and corporate affairs] G.R.K. Prasad. Maytas was not the lead member of this consortium at any stage. But when it came to the construction and operation of the Hyderabad Metro Rail, a new company, Maytas Metro Private Limited suddenly appeared and was registered on 9 September 2008 under the Companies Act. The Government did not react and this was then changed to Maytas Metro Limited [MML] on 17 September. The MML finally signed the concession agreement with the Andhra Pradesh Government on 19 September 2008 in total violation of all rules of bidding. The State Government did not object even once, and the composition of the newly formed MML reveals it to be a family concern of Ramalinga Raju, of Satyam fame.

Documents with Covert give the list of six persons who were allotted equity shares under Maytas Metro Private Limited. Directors include B. Nandini Raju, wife of Ramalinga Raju [Satyam] and B. Teja Raju [son of Ramalinga Raju]. Incidentally, Ramalinga Raju is currently getting VIP treatment in Hyderabad jail, with access to good food, television, books and cigars.

WAQF LAND SOLD ILLEGALLY

Chief Minister Y.S.R. Reddy is also presiding over what sources describe as the completely illegal selling off of Waqf property in the State. There is a long list of cases where prime Waqf land has been sold for a pittance, with others getting the bulk of the money. In what is a classic case reflecting rampant corruption, 100 acres of Waqf property at Manakonda village was acquired by the State Government and sold to an infrastructure firm Lanco at throwaway prices. Earlier, a single bench of the Andra Pradesh High Court declared the land to be Waqf property and in an interim order later stopped construction. The State Government went in appeal and this order was stayed.

The editor of Siyasat, the Hyderabad-based Urdu daily, Zaheeruddin Ali Khan told Covert that Lanco made a profit of Rs 10,000 crores on this property that was acquired from the Wakf Board at a price of just Rs 60 crores. The land was initially acquired for an IT park but it has since been changed to a residential area costing Rs 13,500 crores, while just Rs 427 crores were paid officially for the land, according to Mr Khan. Interestingly, the Chief Secretary of Andhra Pradesh, J. Hari Narayan, in an affidavit filed on behalf of the State Government before the High Court stated that in an earlier Ayodhya-Babri Masjid Land Acquisition case “the Hon’ble Supreme Court held that even a mosque can be subject to land acquisition. So there is no immunity to either a Dargah or to a Waqf land being acquired by the state. So the concept ‘once a waqf always a waqf’ has no legal basis.”

Individuals, delegations, Opposition parties have all taken up the acquisition and sale of prime Waqf property, but the Chief Minister has refused to look into this. Lanco is owned by Congress MP L. Rajagopal, who is close to Y.S.R. Congress MP V. Hanumantha Rao, who has been vocal against the State Government on this issue, told Covert, “Once a Waqf property it is always a Waqf property and no one can acquire or sell it. Unfortunately, the TDP started the sale of Waqf land, but now the present Government is continuing with the same policy. It is regrettable that we in the Opposition were critical of the sale, but are doing the same now.” Mr Rao said that the Minority Affairs Minister Mohammad Shabir Ali is equally responsible for the sale of prime Waqf land. He further said that a parliamentary committee under Deputy Chairman of the Rajya Sabha, Rehman Khan, was convinced that Lanco had acquired Waqf land and urged the State Government to revoke the deal. But the Chief Minister has taken no remedial action.

POWER FRAUD

In yet another major fraud, shares for a power company bought by Jagan Mohan Reddy [the Chief Minister’s son], were sold for a premium of Rs 61 to two Mauritius based companies within the first year of production. The total came to Rs 124 crores. The companies are 2i Capital PCC and Pluri Emerging Companies PCC. There are allegations of financial irregularities against the second company. The two Mauritius companies, significantly, appointed V.S. Reddy as their nominee on the board of Sandur Power Company Limited. Reddy has been the family auditor of Chief Minister Y.S.R. Reddy for 20 years. The Chief Minister has also appointed Reddy as a member of the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam Board that boasts a multi-crore revenue. V.S. Reddy was also appointed director of the Oriental Bank of Commerce.

Jagan Mohan Reddy, according to documents with Covert, holds 16,958,580 shares that equal 31.69% of the capital. The shareholders include two other companies, Kealawn Technologies [P] Ltd., Chennai and Saraswathi Power and Industries Pvt. Ltd., and of both these Jagan Mohan Reddy is the Managing Director. This brings in control of roughly 50% of the total shares of the Sandur Power Company [¼]
- (Appu Esthose Suresh - Covert)

Idea Filmfare Awards 2008

2009-03-02T13:36:00.002-05:00

Best Film: Ashutosh Gowariker and Ronnie Screwvala for Jodhaa Akbar ; Presented by Bipasha Basu.

An elated Ronnie Screwvala says, “This is exceptional. I am taking this award on behalf of Hrithik, Aishwarya and Ashutosh, on behalf of everyone actually. Ashutosh and UTV have worked together. We started our journey with Swades and now Jodhaa Akbar ... it’s been a great journey.”

“I thank all the technicians who made Jodhaa Akbar the most award winning film.” – Ashutosh Gowariker

Best Director: Ashutosh Gowariker from Jodhaa Akbar ; Presented by Preity Zinta and Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra

“I am extremely thrilled. This is wonderful. This is such an honour for me for one of the most difficult movie I have made in my career. Thanks to UTV. Thanks to Haider Ali who wrote this film. You are the real emperor. Thanks to my fans for appreciating my work. Thanks my wife Sunita.”

Hrithik Roshan wins Best Actor (Male) for Jodhaa Akbar
Best Actor (Male): Hrithik Roshan from Jodhaa Akbar ; Presented by Rekha, Shahid Kapoor and Katrina Kaif. Hrithik Roshan wasn’t present at the occasion and hence his director Ashutosh Gowariker picked his award.

Priyanka Chopra wins Best Actor (Female) for Fashion
Best Actor Female: Priyanka Chopra for Fashion; Presented by John Abraham and Tabu

Priyanka Chopra says, “I am limping a little bit tonight as I met with a small accident recently. This award is an honour. Thanks to UTV and Madhur for believing in me. My family and my fans, thanks to all.”

Om Puri wins Lifetime Achievement Award

Lifetime Achievement Award: Om Puri; Presented by Amitabh Bachchan.

The actor says, “Thanks Filmfare for appreciating my work. Art cinema gave me the credibility as an actor and opportunities to showcase my talent. I would like to thank my friends who were with me at all times. I still remember in 1974 when Nasseruddin encouraged me to enroll myself to National School of Drama. I was going to be rejected because of my poor appearance. But my examiners gave me A plus and I made it to the school.”

Best Jury Award

Best Director (Critic): Nishikant Kamat for Mumbai Meri Jaan ; Presented by Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan

Best Actor (Critic): Manjot Singh for Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! ; Presented by Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan

Best Actress (Critic): Shahana Goswami for Rock On ; Presented by Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan

Outstanding Performance: Prateik Babbar for Jaane Tu ... Ya Jaane Na and Purab Kohli for Rock On ; Presented by Shabana Azmi.

Ranbir and Imran play Shahrukh and Aamir
Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan return to the stage and this time not as Ranbir and Imran but as Aamir Khan of Ghajini and Shahrukh Khan of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.

Shahid show his groovy movements
Shahid Kapoor gets on the stage. He started with his number from Kismet Konnection ( Aai Pappi ) followed by Tum He Ho and then his ever popular track Mauja he Mauja and Nagada Baja from Jab We Met .

First Oscar winning Indian, Bhanu Athaiya gets Lifetime Achievement Award

Lifetime Achievement Award: Bhanu Athaiya; Presented by Ashutosh Gowariker and Aishwarya Rai.

Bhanu says, “This award belongs to my father who introduced me to the world of art. This award goes to those directors who gave me beautiful films. This award goes to the actors who put faith in my work. It’s a beautiful award. I am very happy. Thanks Filmfare.”

Best Supporting Actors

Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Male): Arjun Rampal for Rock On; Presented by Riteish Deshmukh.

Arjun Rampal says, “It feels nice, fantastic. All of us want our hand around this Black lady. I want to say thanks to everyone. Farhan, Abhishek, Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy and the cast and crew who made this happen. And finally all the people who stood by me... my family, friends and fans.”

Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Female): Kangana Ranaut for Fashion

Kangana says on stage, “Thanks Madhur for giving me this role. Thanks Mugdha, Priyanka and all the cast and crew of the film. Thanks Rangoli, my sister. You mean a lot to me, you are truly my strength.”

Ranbir and Imran fight for the mike
Cool dudes Ranbir and Imran are back on stage and they start with a spoof based on the lines of Ranbir’s Pepsi My Can ad.

Best Writers of Bollywood

Best Story: Abhishek Kapoor for Rock On ; Presented by Neil Nitin Mukesh and Atul Kulkarni.

Best Screenplay: Yogesh Vinayak Joshi and Upendra Sidhaye for Mumbai Meri Jaan

Best Dialogue: Manu Rishi for Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! ; Award presented by Manmohan Shetty

A R Rahman is the Best Music Director

Best Music Director: AR Rahman for Jaane Tu ... Ya Jaane Na ; Presented by Asha Bhosle

Shahrukh Khan enters fresh as ever
Shahrukh Khan has made it to the Filmfare awards despite his shoulder injury. He looks fresh as ever.

Sukhwinder and Shreya bag Best Singer Awards

Best Lyrics: Javed Akhtar for Jashan-e-Bahaara ( Jodhaa Akbar ); Presented by Sonam Kapoor

Best Playback Singer (Male): Sukhwinder Singh for Haule Haule ( Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi ); Presented by Irrfan Khan and Raima Sen.

Sukhwinder wanted to take this award from AR Rahman and so he called him up on the stage to take the award from his hand. Sukhwinder also said, “I have performed all over the world, I would like to request the jury members that please give me an opportunity to perform at the Filmfare Awards.”

Best Playback Singer (Female): Shreya Ghosal for Teri Ore ( Singh Is Kinng ); Award presented by Mugdha Godse and Vishal Bharadwaj.

Saif and Kareena go Black and White
Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor have arrived. Bebo is looking hot in a White sari, while it’s Black for Saif.

Jaccky Bhagnani is performing now

Deepika on podium, Ranbir connects with Sonam backstage
While Deepika Padukone takes charge of podium, Ranbir finds time to connect with Sonam backstage. They both seemed to be having a happy time talking, cracking jokes and giggling.

Asin, Farhan and Imran are Best debutantes of 2008

Best Debutant Male: Farhan Akhtar ( Rock On ) and Imran Khan ( Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na ); Presented by Abhishek Bachchan and Vidya Balan.

Imran says, “Thanks to Aamir uncle for always knowing what is good.”

Farhan says, “After watching Rock On , Salim uncle called me and gave the Filmfare trophy in my hand. Now I know what it means.”

Best Debutant Female: Asin for Ghajini ; Presented by Abhishek Bachchan and Vidya Balan.

Winners of Technical Awards

Sony Filmfare Best Scene of the Year: Yash Chopra for Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi ‘Flower on the Dining Table’ scene; Award presented by Pradeep Srivastav and Manjit Singh

Best Background Score: A R Rahman for Jodhaa Akbar ; Presented by Alka Yagnik and Prasoon Joshi

Best Costumes: - Manoshi Nath and Rushi Sharma for Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! ; Presented by Kunal Kapoor and Genelia D’Souza

Best Cinematography: Jason West for Rock On ; Presented by Chunky Pandey and Rajeev Menon.

Best Sound Design: Vinod Subramanyam and Bela for Rock On ; Award presented by Kunal Khemu and Poonam Dhillon.

Best Choreography: Longines for Pappu Can’t Dance Sala. (Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na). Presented by Koena Mitra and Ratan Jain.

Best Editing: Amit Pawar for Mumbai Meri Jaan ; Presented by Shriya Saran, Anil Tandon.

Best Production Design: Vandan Kataria and Monica Angelica Bhowmick for Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! ; Presented by Ramesh Taurani and Mukesh Bhatt

Best Action: Peter Hein for Ghajini; Presented by Abbas Mastan

Best Visual Effects Award: John Deitz for Love Story 2050 . Payal Rohatgi and Imtiaz Ali presented the award.

Deepika and Konkana take charge
The cool dudes are now on a break as hotties Deepika Padukone and Konkana Sen Sharma take charge if the podium.

Priyanka Chopra has just entered the auditorium. The actress is wearing a lovely Blue gown.

“Hum jo kuch kahenge accha kahenge,” – Ranbir and Imran

Ranbir and Imran say, “Last year many people had complains that no spoofs were pulled off on them. Are we not important they asked? So this year we will not disappoint anyone. Hum kisika mazaak nahi udayenge .” The two also took the oath of the Filmfare statuette, “ Hum jo kuch kahenge accha kahenge, acche ke siwa kuch nahi kahenge. ”

Bachchans arrive
Abhishek, Aiswarya and Amitabh have arrived just a few minutes back. The men are in Black suits while the Bachchan bahu is in a Black and Golden sari.

Sonam Kapoor has just arrived. She is wearing a white gown.

Imran and Ranbir enter as Cool and Dude

Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor have just made a super cool entry. They both drove in on a funky bike with names Cool and Dude.

Just before their entry, Karan Johar said, “SRK has given a cold shoulder to the function and Saif thought it’s unsafe to be here. So apart from me there are two cool dudes who will be hosting the show.”

The audience cheered when the hot dudes appeared in a cool manner. Abhishek Bachchan couldn’t stop himself from standing up and cheering for them too.

Bong babe Konkona Sen Sharma has just joined the cool dudes Ranbir and Imran on stage and then came the little star Darsheel Safary claiming to be the future of Indian Film Industry.

Darsheel missing Kareena, couldn’t bring Aamir along

Child actor Darsheel Safary will be giving a surprise performance. He says he has seen Slumdog Millionaire and liked the kids in the film. When we asked why he didn’t get Aamir along? He said, “He is busy so couldn’t come.”

Darsheel missing Kareena Kapoor: When we asked Darsheel who’s looking gorgeous he gave us a confused look and said, “There is no Kareena Kapoor here.”

The show begins...

The theme of 54th Filmfare Awards is young India and that’s why you have Ranbir Kapoor, Imran Khan and Darsheel Safary host the show.

Shiamak Davar has choreographed all the performances for the night.

Shabina Khan has designed Ranbir Kapoor’s outfit for the night.

The show begins with Farhan’s performance.

The function has just started with a national anthem.

Deepika meets Ranbir backstage
Gossip: Deepika Padukone has just arrived and was frantically searching for Ranbir Kapoor. She was told that Ranbir is backstage and that’s how she got to meet him.

AR Rahman says, “I have won an Oscar but Filmfare is Asia’s biggest award function so I am here. My wife couldn’t come as she is taking care of the kids back in Chennai.”

Slumdog Millionaire cast and crew has come at the award function minus Dev Patel, Freida Pinto and Danny Boyle. They are here to cheer for AR Rahman.

Anushka Sharma misses her jodidar
Anushka Sharma has arrived wearing a gown designed by Gaurav Gupta. About the awards she says, “I don’t want to pressurize myself, I have done my best, given my best performance. Now I just want to sit and enjoy the Filmfare Award night. I will be happy for whoever wins. I will miss Shahrukh as I would have loved to see him here. But Imran and Ranbir will be great fun.”

Jodhaa Akbar has 17 nominations
Ashutosh Gowariker has just arrived. He says, “Jodhaa Akbar has 17 nominations. I wish we get all the awards.” When asked about the anchors and fun on stage he said, “I am looking forward to the award as this is people’s choice award. I am looking forward to fun too. I already have two Filmfare trophies and I wish to add some more to the collection.”

New arrivals...
Koena Mitra has just arrived and unlike most who wore Black for the starry night, she preferred to keep it White. Her dress is designed by an Australia based designer Rajat. She is wearing a flared outfit as she thinks “volume is in”.

After being missing from parties and events for sometime now, Tabu has made it to the Filmfare Award night. She’s wearing a gown and is looking stunning as ever.

Preity Zinta has just arrived wearing a hot Black and White gown. There is no trace of beau Ness Wadia.

Janne Tu ... Ya Jaane Na hottie Genelia D’Souza has just arrived in a sexy Black Just Qawwali outfit. She has her mommy dear for company.

Ace filmmaker Yash Chopra has just arrived with beta Uday Chopra in tow.

Arjun Rampal arrives looking hot as ever in a Black suit and tie. He has wife Mehr accompanying him.

Rock On director Abhishek Kapoor has arrived with his wife. He looks confident and happy as he happily chats with the media. His Killer Drummer, Purab Kohli joins him at the red carpet.

Prateik Babbar has just arrived and he’s looking dashing in his Black suit and bow.

Alka Yagnik has arrived wearing a beautiful salwar kameez . She is hoping to a win her 8th Filmfare award this year.

Music of Vashu Bhagnani’s film to be launched at Filmfare Awards today

Vashu Bhagnani’s son Jaccky Bhagnani is all set to perform on the Filmfare stage. “I am very excited. This is also the first time that we are launching a film’s music ( Kal Kisne Dekha ) at an award function,” said Bhagnani.

“We won’t miss Shahrukh and Saif.” – Sushmita Sen

Sushmita Sen has arrived with her mother. Sush is wearing a Black gown designed by Gauri and Niharika which she describes as “very me”. When asked about whom she thinks will win she said, “May the best man win.”

When asked about the new hosts she said, “We won’t miss Shahrukh and Saif. We don’t look back, we look forward. I am looking forward to see Ranbir and Imran host the show.”

“We will not insult anyone like Shahrukh and Saif” – Imran Khan

With eye candies Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan, Karan Johar will be hosting the show too and with that we can be sure to witness a lot of wit and humour on stage.

Imran Khan says this is his first time at hosting a show and he is damn nervous. “My hands are shaking with nervousness. But Ranbir and me are going to be good and no naughtiness like Shahrukh and Saif. We will not insult anyone. (laughs)”

Shabana Azmi and Javed Akhtar hopeful for Farhan
Shabana Azmi and Javed Akhtar have just walked in. She is wearing a beautiful Anuradha Wakil’s outfit. She says, “As a mother I am very proud of Farhan as he has been nominated in two categories.” When asked about who she wants to win, Shabana said she has no particular favourite but hopes Farhan wins.

Javed Akhtar tells us, “I have seen Farhan perform before but it would be special to see him perform on stage for Filmfare Award. It will be fun to see Ranbir and Imran host the show together.”

Though he has been nominated in the lyricist categories Javed Akhtar says, “I’ll be cheering for Farhan and other nominees.”

Performances to look forward to...

The musical toli of Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy are going to rock the stage with their super hit songs while Shahid Kapoor is all set to groove to a peppy medley. Rockstar Farhan Akhtar is already gearing up for his first ever act at any award show. The oomphalicious Katrina Kaif will put up a scintillating show and eye candy Abhishek Bachchan will shake a leg too. Hottie Bipasha Basu is another attraction to look forward to.

Farhan Akhtar’s Magik Band to perform tonight

Farhan Akhtar has just arrived looking his smashing best in a Black Tuxedo designed by Arjun Bhasin, tie and black pants. “I'm really excited to be here. I've been nominated in the Best Singer category. I didn't think it would happen, but it's not like I didn't hope it would. Rock On has been nominated in various categories. I hope to bag all those awards. And if I don't, I won't be resentful”, says Farhan

He has come in early to practice as this is his first performance at any award function. Wife Audhuna will be joining him soon. "We are also performing - The Magik Band - let's hope we make some magic!

About who should win the Best Actor award considering all his friends are nominated, Farhan says, "I'll be happy if any of them win. We are here just to have a good time, so I'm here to do just that!" Farhan feels A Wednesday and Jodhaa Akbar are his toughest competitors.

Shahid's performance to watch out for

Choreographer Shiamak Davar says Shahid's performance is one to watch out for...

"Shahid is my baby, he's made his physique and looking so good. I'm proud of him. Even Abhishek Bachchan is special. I've baby sat him... and to see them all doing so well, it's fantastic!"

Shankar, Ehsaan Loy come in...

They are the men in black for tonight, sporting glares to go with their all-black attire. And just where is Shankar Mahadevan? "Oh, he's at some gig somewhere," they tell us. Nominated for 'Music Direction' for 'Rock On!!', Loy says, "The music in the film is not conventional. It's niche. But let's see what happens tonight. A few surprises will be good." Their toughest competitor? "Well, everybody's a good bet. But with Rahman having brought the Oscar home, he's the favourite of course, we assume he'll win. And he's genuinely a great professional and good human being. So as long as someone good wins, we really don't mind!" So is this musical duo going to be wearing their glares even in the auditorium? "That depends, if the sun goes down on us, we'll just remove them," they laugh.

Watch out for the BIG NIGHT... The countdown to the Filmfare Awards, the Daddy of all Hindi award functions has begun, and we intend to bring you LIVE updates as it happens. Who walked in with whom, who was wearing what, who bagged which award, who said what on this very Big Night! Check out the live updates as and when it’s happening at the venue now....(TNN)

'Jai ho', 'Slumdog' top HollyWords of 2008

2009-03-02T13:33:00.001-05:00

'Jai ho' and 'Slumdog' have not only ruled the Oscars but have also emerged as the top 'HollyWords' that influenced the English language most in 2008.

'Jai ho' Oscar winning original score composed by A R Rahman from Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire and the word ‘Slumdog’, from the same film, that was used to describe young slum-dwellers in Mumbai were named the top two Hollywood words of 2008 by the Global Language Monitor (GLM) in its 6th Annual Survey.

According to GLM, this is the first time that two words from the same movie were ranked in top ten. Closely following were 'Hmong' from "Gran Torino", 'Nuke the Fridge' from "Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull" and 'Twinkie defence', which followed the events depicted in Milk .

Rounding out the Top Ten are -'Djembe' (The Visitor), 'There are no accidents' (Kung Fu Panda), 'What doesn't kill you makes you stranger (The Dark Knight), Posthumous (The Wrestler), and 'Katrina' from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

"2008 was a remarkable year for words in films, with a Hindi phrase, the name of a Laotian tribe, a West African drum, and a modified quotation from Frederick Nietzsche all making the list," Paul JJ Payack, GLM's chief word analyst said. (TNN)

Rana and Sekhar Kammula's secret venture

2009-03-02T13:29:00.001-05:00

It's all happening in the city and it's being done chori chori chupke chupke.

Can you believe, Rana has been shooting for months for a Sekhar Kammula film and there’s not a squeak on it. Pray why is this venture a top secret? Is it because of Rana’s star connections?

Well, going by Sekhar’s track record, it comes across that he works better with debutants than stars. Maybe we could call him a star-crossed director! Does the director shy away from established stars or is it that stars can’t work with him? Earlier Mahesh Babu and Venkatesh had expressed their desire to work with him but nothing came of it and also Sekhar’s attempt to do a film with Nag ran into a dead end.
Coming back to the ‘secret’ film, we hear the film is a political drama with a dash of action. Rana, who is a trained actor, is looking for a ‘good’ role says his father, producer Suresh Babu, who does not want his son to fall into the 'image pit’. When asked about the film he didn't want to comment. “I am not going to the shooting spot, Sekhar’s taking care of everything,” he said.

The other tidbit we gathered about the film is that there are two female leads - one is a Mumbai girl and the other, a Telugu. Whether they too are debutants we don’t know, but debutant Rana does have a star connection! Well, all of Sekhar’s films - Dollar Dreams, Anand, Godavari and Happy Days were made with newcomers and went on to become hits, maybe the ‘debutant’ factor will prove lucky for Rana too. (TNN)

Irrfan Khan meets Julia Roberts

2009-03-02T12:22:00.001-05:00

In LA for the Oscars Irrfan Khan met up with Julia Roberts for what turned out to be a memorable rendezvous.

“On the day after the Oscars ceremony we were doing a photo-feature for a magazine when I was told Julia Roberts was closeby , and would I like to meet her? I said she didn’t know me . But I was told she did know my work. I ran to meet her . It turned out, Julia had seen The Namesake very recently. She was doing a photo-session when we met up. She was sooooo sooooo genuinely pleased to meet me. She told me it was an honour to meet me. ‘What a beautiful film you’ve given us,’ she said. I swooned.”

Irrfan was bowled over by Julia Robert’s gracious compliments. “Such a big star and so little vanity. She not only had wonderful things to say about my film , she also lavished praise on India. ‘My kids and I love your country,’ she said. They were in India and plan to return again.”

Irrfan had to pinch and slap himself after the memorable meeting. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. She looked so lovely in her jeans and a short jacket.She was as cheerful and warm and full of compassion as she appears on screen.But I could’ve killed myself for not carrying dvds of my other films, so I could give them to Julia. I’m so badly organized.”

Another dream came true for Irrfan when he met the amazing method -actor John Malkovich. “He was at an Oscars event and said he was attending a party after 15 years. He stays in Paris and was visiting LA. I’d like to believe he came to meet me . I wanted to meet him for long. I had a very long conversation with him. I also met director Oliver Stone, whom I was waiting to meet .” (TNN)

Woman cuts husband's genitals after fight

2009-03-02T12:20:00.001-05:00

AHMEDABAD: In a fit of rage, a woman allegedly castrated her husband while he was asleep at their house in the Amraiwadi area of the city, police said on Monday.

The incident occurred late on Sunday when Kailashben Mackwana (23), who had a fight with her husband Kanusinh (23) earlier in the day, in a fit of anger, cut his genitals with a knife, they said.

Kanusinh, who had lost lot of blood, was admitted to the civil hospital where he was operated for over two hours, they added.

According to the doctors at the civil hospital, Kanusinh's condition is stable, but he would be kept under observation.

"The patient's condition is stable. For now we have done skin grafting in the affected area. His penis has been cut, but there is no injury to the testicles," Dr Gautam Sharma of the civil hospital said.

"His recovery time could be between 15-20 days depending on how well his body responds to the treatment," Sharma said.

The police have arrested Kailashben, who told them during interrogation that the duo had a fight over some mortgaged jewellery.

Futher investigation is on, police said. (TNN)

Indians deposited $1.45 trillion in Swiss banks

2009-03-01T20:41:00.002-05:00

Parliament has been rocked twice in the past two weeks over trillion and a half of Indian deposits in Swiss banks. When Communist Party of India (CPI) Deputy General Secretary Sudhakar Reddy raised the issue of Indian deposits in Swiss banks, his mention of the $1.45 trillion figure and that it was double the country’s gross domestic product shook the Lok Sabha. External Affairs Minister Pranab Mukherjee, currently in charge of the finance portfolio, didn’t take note and left it to his deputy, Pawan Kumar Bansal, to say a probe would be ordered.

Reddy was quoting a Swiss Banking Association report of 2006-07 that said India led the top five countries in deposits — the others are Russia, the UK, Ukraine and China. “Everyone in the House was rattled,” says Reddy, whose repeated statements in Parliament were a follow-up of the two-page letter he’d written to the Prime Minister after being informed about a relatively unknown NGO.

“If equally distributed, each Indian will get Rs 100,000,” Reddy wrote in his letter, which evoked no response from the Prime Minister’s Office. But, in a late reaction, the Communist Party of India- Marxist (CPM) urged New Delhi to seek details of these deposits.

The point being made by the Left parties is that the famed Swiss banks secrecy is not an absolute. Recently, banking details of eight US clients of Switzerland’s UBS were sent to Washington, despite a late Swiss court order blocking the move. “If the US can do it, nothing prevents the Indian Government from getting the details,” said the CPM Politburo.

A report in The Washington Post says that, in addition to details of the eight clients, names of more than 240 clients have been sent by UBS. The US Justice Department is trying to break through Switzerland's legendary banking secrecy to go after American tax evaders: UBS admitted to the tax fraud and agreed to pay $780 million. However, UBS rejected the demand that it disclose identities of some 52,000 US customers who allegedly evaded taxes. The US tax office argues US citizens are hiding about $14.8 billion in such accounts.

Reddy, Chairman of the Lok Sabha Committee on Labour, has moved a motion slated for discussion on February 27, as part of the Private Members Resolution. “We have to get to the bottom of this case,” Reddy told TEHELKA.

In New Delhi, Swiss Ambassador to India Dominique Dreyer acknowledged the flow of black money from India and other countries into Swiss banks, but said that new legislation in Switzerland could make stashing such money difficult in the future. “The banks themselves monitor the origin stringently," Dreyer said while celebrating 60 years of the Indo-Swiss Friendship Treaty. “Switzerland was accused of giving shelter to black money. It would not be stopped 100 per cent (under the new law) but controlled up to a certain limit.”

But those familiar with Swiss banks say that the chances of New Delhi seeking and obtaining a greater list of names than that sent to Washington seems doomed because of the new court order that arms the European country’s national regulator, FINMA. Swiss newspaper Tribune De Geneve quoted FINMA’s Alain Bischel saying the tribunal’s order forbade the Swiss bank regulator from giving the plaintiffs’ “banking documents to third parties" or risk legal proceedings. Also, Switzerland’s populist Swiss People’s Party (SVP) has called for a Parliament debate, demanding retaliation against the US probe and threats to the prized banking secrecy.

It is estimated that nearly $2.2 trillion, a third of $7 trillion the world's wealthy have spirited into offshore tax havens, is stashed in Swiss banks. India, from where an estimated 80,000 people travel to Switzerland every year, has the largest slice of the secret pie. “There are no orders to probe,” says a senior official of the Enforcement Directorate. Agrees Admiral RH Tahiliani, former naval chief who now leads Transparency International India: “Billions have been parked in Switzerland, with Indians topping the list.”

With those levels of deposits, and Switzerland only one of the popular tax havens in the world (Lichtenstein, the Bahamas and the Cayman Islands also ask no questions), it is barely surprising that the integrity score of India has been 3.4 in 2007-08 (on a scale of 10) as compared to Denmark and Finland scoring a perfect 10. But since the wealth parked in these accounts is possessed both by rich businessmen and rich politicians, the chances that any government will be pushed enough to demand their banking details are slim indeed. (Tehelka)

How to beat exam stress

2009-03-01T17:27:00.001-05:00

Exam anxiety is a common phenomenon that involves feelings of tension or uneasiness that occur before, during, or after any an examination.

But remember a lot of people experience anxiety around exam times. So you are not an exceptional case. A little anxiety is helpful, as it motivates and creates the required pressure to excel. However, anxiety often becomes extremely intense and this leads to disruptive symptoms creating a negative impact on one’s performance. Therefore, it is important to cope effectively and overcome this anxiety to attain good results.

Coping mechanisms -
- Determine whether the anxiety is a “true” test anxiety, or is it due to lack of adequate preparation.
- Ensure that you have prepared adequately i.e. attended classes regularly, spent enough time revising and thoroughly understood the matter.
·- If these issues have been addressed and you still continue to experience intense anxiety, then there are more chances of you suffering from true test anxiety, and will need to target your particular symptoms directly.
- Start by anticipating the exam as the time approaches.
- Before going to bed organize everything needed for the exam including stationery.
- Double check venue and time of the exam.
- Set the alarm clock
- Ensure a good night's sleep
- Snack on fruits and nuts. It gives you carbohydrate which means energy that gets depleted when you are stressed out. Eat healthy while studying during the preparation time and do not go for an examination with an empty stomach.
- Calm yourself by stretching and taking few deep breaths.
- Do some positive internal self-talking.
- If stuck in an examination, close your eyes, take a few deep breathe and calm down, stretch yourself, ask the supervisor for some water and return to your desk. Instead of concentrating what you don't know, start with something you know. Leave the question that you don't know for the last.

Simple Relaxation Techniques one could use could be any given below:
Deep Breathing: This is a quick way to control anxiety before it gets away from you during an exam
First step would be to close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Fill your lungs deep down with air.
One should focus your attention on your breathing by:
-inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth
-listening to the flow of air in and out
-being aware of the difference in temperature between air going in and air going out
One should be aware of tension in specific parts of your body. Mentally fill that part with clean white light as you breathe in. Carry away stress as you breathe out.

Muscle Relaxation: This is a technique based on the principle that a muscle becomes more relaxed if it is first tensed uncomfortably. There are 2 types of it. Type A could be used at home, especially as it helps you to get sleep the night before an exam, and Type B which could be used during the examination.

Type A
This could be while sitting or lying in a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply.
Tighten, hold for 5-10 seconds, and then relax one muscle group at a time. Begin with your toes and move up through your calves, thighs, buttocks, abdomen, chest, back, shoulders, hands, arms, neck, face, forehead and jaw.
Then continue to breathe deeply as you systematically relax your body. Try to keep body parts you have already relaxed in that condition as you tense new muscle groups.

Type B
With your arms at your sides as you sit on your chair, grasp the underside of the seat of your chair and try to lift it off the floor (Of course, you can't!) Hold this position, tensing your arms and shoulders, for 5 seconds. Then let go and relax. (TNN)

Top 7 sex bummers

2009-03-01T17:22:00.002-05:00

Almost every couple has suffered from the occasional not-so-sexy moves which end up turning off the respective partners in bed. But what about the accidental bummers which often happen in the midst of your steamiest sex sessions? From suddenly being compelled to answering nature's call or moaning your past lover's name, these sex shockers are irksome distractions that do not allow you to enjoy the act of passion whole-heartedly.

These circumstantial occurrences during sex may not be very common, but these can happen to you as well. So the next time you find yourself in these embarassing situations, just take a count of the following points...

Sex with my ex
Imagine screaming your ex's name, or your secret lover's pet name, just when your partner is about to climax. Damn! It can't get worse than this. "I had an arranged marriage and it was a blunder that I did on my honeymoon. I yelled my ex's name in pleasure and my hubby was very frustrated hearing another man's name. Believe me, we didn't have sex for months, until I convinced him that there's nothing between me and my ex now," shares Deepti Shah (31), who got married last year.

Such an occurence is likely to make your partner feel estranged, besides injecting a feeling of suspicion in your love life.

Hot tip: Though fantasies are an essential part of a gratifying sex life, expressing fantasies in such unexpected ways can often put end to your relationship. "A lot of women fantasise about their idol or a past lover while having sex as it turns them on. But it's important to remember that sex is an emotional experience too, so don't appear to be emotionally weak and let your past lover/fantasy hover in your mind space while becoming intimate with your present beau. This causes a discord in your relationship. A combination of prayanam, gym and a job (PGJ) is the best way to keep away from a fertile imagination," suggests Dr. Aruna Broota, clinical psychologist.

Nature's call
This blooper is the mother of all sex bummers faced by couples. Often confused with a squirting orgasm, it is related to the pressure applied on the bladder due to sexual stimulation. A problem commonly faced by women, this often leaves the male partner feeling half pleasured. Recalls housewife Pratibha Trivedi, "I often feel like urinating half way through the act and this creates a problem for my man, besides being unhealthy."

Hot tip: Never force yourself to reach a climax if you're feeling like relieving yourself. "The nerves that are stimulated during an erection are quite close to those of the urinal bladder and sometimes an overlapping can result in urinating during sex. So make sure you have attended nature's call before you gear up for the act of sex. In case there are any other organic problems, certain medications can help deal with them," elucidates Dr. Prakash Kothari, a leading sexologist.

Oops! I farted
It may sound like a marginal interruption, but if it comes in the way of pleasure, it's sure to marr the excitement. "It was a horrifying nightmare. I knew my wife had medical implications due to which she suffered gastritis, but it was a highly disturbing when we were sexually engaged and I stopped enjoying sex with her anymore," recalls Ravi Mehra.

Hot tip: Make sure your digestive system is in place before you indulge in a make out session. "Avoid potatoes, pulses, peas, and bakery items that enhance gas formation (gastritis). Also, we recommend you to consume a digestive pill or opt for a brisk walk after the meal to make the food settle down completely," recommends Dr. Kothari.

Nailed
Many couples often, although unintentionally, end up scratching each other's bodies with their sharp nails. It may be an act of pleasure for you, but your partner might not be enjoying the pain as much. "I hate girls with long nails and unfortunately my wife has the same trait, it is a misery. Every time we have sex, I am with red deep marks on my back and neck, which are at times visible. Come on, how can this be a loving gesture?" questions Yatin Chawla.

While many couples enjoy an aggressive partner, certain gestures are not really welcome. Giving love bites even before your partner is aroused, often leads to pain and discomfort and might even lessen the chances of any further action between the sheets.

Hot tip: The simplest way out of this situation is to cut properly file and manicure your nails so that they do not lead to painful scratches on your partner. Try caressing your partner's body with your soft and well moisturised hands and palms to avoid any contact with your nails. As for biting, make sure your partner is fully excited before you bite their ear, shoulders, neck or any other body part.

Self Stimulation
"I thought only men enjoy stimulating their private parts. However, when I saw my wife doing it to herself, especially during sex, it wasn't a good feeling at all. Every time I would try to arouse her, she would object and resort to her own way of stimulation," says Keshav Khurana. Such gestures can irk your partner to the fullest and at the same time, distract them from the actual act.

Hot tip: Avoid touching or rubbing your organs repeatedly, let your partner have the privilege to arouse you by touching your erotic zones. "Inflammation or infection in or around the sex organ causes itching, so ensure you wash your body well before having sex. In case of any fungal infection, necessary ointments can be applied. You can also consume anti-allergic medicines a few hours before indulging in sex. This will reduce itching at that time so that you can enjoy uninterrupted pleasure," explains Dr. Kothari.

The silent quotient
How would you feel if your partner remained quiet throughout the lovemaking act? Not a great feeling of course! "I often feel that my wife considers sex like a routine chore that doesn't interest her whole heartedly. Neither does she appreciate any act nor does she take the initiative to tell me in case I am going wrong. I just don't enjoy such a one sided intercourse," shares Varun Chhabra.

Acts of holding back your moans and not uttering a word during sexual acts often imparts the impression sex being forced on the silent partner. Once your partner observes this, it'll surely kill his/her mood.

Hot tip: Remember, your partner loves hearing you moaning, screaming and at times shouting, to know that you're having a 'good time'. Don't keep numb during the act. "Communication is the utmost requirement during sex. Discuss things that you like or dislike and what ignites your passion. Women should not be cautious of their expressions or hesitate in guiding their husbands. This educates their partner further," opines Dr. Aruna.

Napping tapping
It's a common occurrence to see your partner falling asleep time and again while you're in the mood to rock the boat. But such redundant naps in between sexual interactions often reroute the mood, ruining the sexual chemistry. Kanika Motwani, married for 3 years, complains, "Both of us come home tired and when it's time for sex, my husband loves his sleep more. Forget any foreplay or after sex moments, he sometimes falls off to sleep in between the actual act. It really annoys me."

Hot tip: It's always a wise idea to grab a sound sleep after sex and not let it come in way of seeking pleasure. Go for a shower before you make-out to retain freshness of body and mind. (TNN)

Ten kissing commandments

2009-03-01T17:13:00.002-05:00

"Our date was extremely romantic, until I offered to seal the night with a kiss, which unexpectedly turned out to be quite awkward. While, I was gravely ashamed, she never came back," shares 23-year-old, Rishi Gulati (name changed on request), a sad victim of a kissing-faux-pas.

Well, the misfortune of a bad kiss can fall upon any of us. Consider yourself lucky if your kiss left your partner craving for more. And keep your fingers tightly crossed for no one plans a kissing blunder, it simply happens! And mind it, you are hardly left with anything to mend the embarrassment caused by a 'dud kiss.' If a perfect kiss can register success in your relationship, a kissing bummer is good enough to bring your love journey to a dead end even before it starts.

Follow our '10 commandments of perfect kissing' and you'll never be tagged as a 'poor kisser'...

1. Thou shall not be a stinking fish
Nothing can kill a kiss like foul breadth. So, the first commandment keeps you off kissing, if your mouth is stinking due to hygiene issues, food, tobacco or excessive smoking. If you don't want your partner to remember the kiss for all the wrong reasons, try to look out for solutions. Dr. Kamal Bisht, a general physician suggests, "Begin by brushing your teeth before you go out on a date, irrespective of the time. Cleaning your tongue is also important as it removes bacteria. Avoid kissing if you have just had smelly food products like garlic, onions etc. Keep a breath spray handy and use it periodically throughout the day." Last but not the least, if you are a smoker, the pleasure of smooching your partner can be your motivation to kick the butt!

2. Thou shall open your mouth with care
"My girlfriend has this habit of opening her mouth very little while kissing, which does not allow me to enjoy a passionate kiss to the fullest," avers Rajdeep Bhawmik, a Delhi-based architect.

While, there's no accurate rule for opening the mouth, it's generally seen that a deep kiss using tongue is a huge turn on. Equally terrifying are gulpers who open their mouth wide open while kissing, ready to swallow their partner. The trick is to keep one's lips lose enough to let the lips of both the partners glide smoothly over each other making it a yummy kiss. Also, “start with a lip-to-lip kiss and gradually taste the depths of pleasure," suggests sex expert, Dr. Rajan.

3. Thou shall not be a dead dud
"For both men and women, responsiveness is the chief factor that makes for a better kisser," says author William Cane in his book, The Art of Kissing Book of Question and Answers . So, rather than pouncing upon your partner's mouth, try and figure out the styles and movements that your partner enjoys. Try to figure out his/her likes and dislikes and adapt your technique accordingly.

Going with the other partner's rhythm is crucial. Don't expect your beau to do all the work while you enjoy his kissing moves. "My girlfriend is a hesitant kisser. She doesn't even move her head; forget about getting playful with her tongue and lips. It's just like I'm trying to find pleasure with a stiff stick," reveals Chandan Gupta, a 20-year-old college student.

4. Thou shall be a learner
No body is a born kisser. So, if you are an amateur kisser, who is apprehensive about locking lips, just follow your partner and the rest will fall into place, the way it happened with Jayati and Mayank. "During the initial days of our courtship, my girlfriend Jayanti was quite clueless about kissing, which was a big turn-off for me. But soon she realised her awkwardness and made a smart move. She simply started copying my style and now she can beat me in a passionate kiss," tells Mayank Taneja, a Mumbai-based PR professional.
Remember kissing is all about adapting and learning.

5. Thou shall use your hands appropriately
Agreed, that using hands results in elevating levels of passion. But do not pull his hair or grab her waist as if she'll run if you leave. Kissing is about imparting pleasure rather than inflicting pain. “Keep your hand movements limited to sensual and soft strokes on your lover's arms, back, neck, waist and hair or simply cup the face,” suggests Cane. Don’t get too aggressive in the name of showing wild passion. "My first boyfriend almost gave me bruises every time we kissed. Pinching and grabbing me gave him a sense of high, but I failed to match up with his wild passion and we broke up after a few dates and kisses," relates Madhurima Goel, a 19-year-old college student.

6. Thou shall not let your tongue go loose
You don't have to gag your partner by shoving off your tongue deep down into his/her mouth. Take it easy. The kissing rule for tongue says –less is more! Let the tip of your tongue perform the magic with subtle and gentle strokes. You can use your tongue for exploring, but that doesn't allow you to reach between your partner's teeth –as it can be a big turnoff. "Remember, slower the tongue movements, hotter is the passion," says Dr. Shivi Jaggi.

7. Thou shall not give me a saliva bath
Wet kisses undoubtedly work when it comes to getting into some raunchy action, but that doesn't give you the liberty to go lap,lap,lap all over your partner's face. "My girl is a passionate kisser. But, the only problem with her is that her kisses are really wet. She licks my chin, cheeks, forehead etc, which becomes quite messy for me," complains Jatin Sharma, a 24-year-old, management student. So, slobbery is not welcomed while kissing.

8. Thou shall not have sex on your mind
It is not necessary for a kiss to end in some hot action between the sheets. Your kiss shouldn't give away the hint that you are getting desperate to hit the bed. "Kissing brings people close physically and emotionally. And this closeness satisfies a deep emotional need for connecting with your partner," explains Cane.

So, while you are kissing, be sensitive to your partner's need. He/she may or may not be ready for sex immediately. Don't use a kiss as a means to reach a sexual climax. Let your kiss be romantic rather than plain sexual.

"I can still remember my first kiss, though for unpleasant things. The way the guy was busy groping me, gave clear clues that he wanted to have sex with me on our first date itself and I wasn't ready. And soon after that date, within no time I made up my mind to never meet him again."

Another way to keep your first kiss plain romantic, rather than hard core sexual can be to keep your hand-work limited to the non-erotic zones like the neck, arms, back waist etc., rather than reaching out to the erotic zones. Though, imagination and experimentation can be your yardstick if both of you are ready and enjoying.

9. Though shall not stare while kissing
You might be curious; you might feel like watching your partner taking pleasure in the act, but continuously staring at him/her while kissing is a big no no! Whenever a person is enjoying something to the hilt, their eyes automatically shut. Closing the eyes is an autonomous stimulus to pleasure. So, kissing is no exception to this rule and people tend to close their eyes. “Also, the sight of your partner almost eating you might not look very beautiful if you watch it continuously, though there's nothing wrong in getting a peep every now and then," suggests Dr. Rajan.

10. Thou shall be confident of your kiss
Be it a plain pucker or a passionate lip lock, not just the initiator, but even the recipient ought to be confident. Remember, to go with the flow and you'll do fine. When passion reaches its zenith, no guide-book or tips remain in one's mind. So, just be yourself and let the warmth of your lips take over. "Be it approaching your lover for a kiss or accepting his proposal, both should be utmost confident. Jitters may spoil the mood, irrespective of who is getting them," explains Dr. Jaggi. (TNN)

Top sexual fantasies

2009-03-01T16:57:00.002-05:00

Secret for some, silent for others, mild for some and wild for others...every couple harbours hidden sexual fantasies.

For a lot of couples their fantasies remain hidden desires that are tucked away in the remote corners of their heart. Fear of rejection often leads couples to deny their unspoken desires. "Contrary to popular perception, those who fantasise the most are engaged in loving, trusting and sexually satisfied relationships. The idea of a fantasy is that your mind explores places that the body has no intention of visiting and acting out things one might never even think of doing in real life," says psychiatrist, Dr. Sanjay Chugh.

Dr. Deepak Raheja of Hope Foundation says, sums up the importance of sexual fantasies, "Sexual excitement and libido to a great extent depends upon what you think of and how you plan, your sexual communion. Sex usually begins in the brain. So an active imagination gears up the mind, there by heightening the desire to an extent that arousal becomes much quicker adding to the sexual gratification. That's why discussing and performing one's sexual fantasies are important for a couple to enjoy a highly satisfying sex life."

Supports Dr. Chugh, "As long as the individuals are healthy and their sexual fantasies do not impair their level of functioning or cause them or those around them any kind of stress, one can safely continue to enjoy one's sexual fantasies."

So, instead of distancing your partner from your fantasies or alienating them from your wild dreams, try and communicate what's on your mind to the,. Open ended communication is key during sex. You never know...even your partner might have woven some hot desires and thanks to your initiative they might just end up venting them thereby leading to a hot sexual communion.

Here's a list of the most highly cherished sexual fantasies often nurtured by partners either together or in seclusion.

Fantasy # 1: Domination
Not to win, but to surrender! Yes, it's the most common fantasy that people eat, drink, sleep and live with. The mere thought of a partner sweeping them off their feet and winning full sexual control over them provides a heady adrenaline rush. Women just love watching their macho lover begging for sexual release in the bedroom as they crack the whip on their love slave. And hot hunks also get turned on by the thought of being hand-cuffed in bed as their lady love assumes the role of the dominating lover. "I never knew my otherwise dictating man would love turning into a meek lover waiting to be taken to task by me. The total reversal of roles adds to the sexual excitement and gives me a chance to rule over him in bed. The sex we have is just wild," confesses 33-years-old Divya Pahwa from Delhi.

The way we do it: Hand cuffs or silky-satiny scarves come handy to enact this fantasy. Just tie your partner's limbs to the bed and there's your prey ...all set to submit to your sexual calls. He's the slave and you the master...so go ahead and live out your carnal pleasures. Touch, tease and tickle...the situation is a win-win at both ends. Your slave is bound to derive pleasure in begging for your sexual attention, as you enjoy making him/her deliver your hidden whim and fancies!

Fantasy # 2: Being a visual delight
A lot of couples love being an audience to their own sexual encounters by having sex in from of a full length/ceiling mirror. "The thought of watching our own moves in the mirror always leave my heart pumping harder. Though my wife was a little apprehensive initially, but soon she got into the flow. Not only is it fun, enjoying this voyeuristic pleasure helped my wife get over her body consciousness and come alive," admits 27-years-old, advertising executive, Jairaj Kanojia (name changed on request).

Just place a full length mirror strategically in front of your bed and there you have the perfect pitch ready to hit those sexual sixes and boundaries! So keep playing till one of you gets clean bowled!

Fantasy # 3: Recording the action
Recording your sexual pleasure is a secret fantasy of the rich and famous. Be it on your cell phone or a handy cam, a lot of couples love recording their sex encounters so that they can watch their moves later and get turned on. The realization of getting recoded is a major turn-on for couples as it gives the feeling of being a star, which in a way satiates another popular fantasy – of living the life of a Page 3 celebrity. "If the act offends either of the partners the other half must respect his/her wishes if he/she is not comfortable participating in the recording session. To o record without permission is simply not acceptable," says sexologist Dr. Madhukar Banerjee.

Fantasy # 4: Voyeurism
Voyeurism can be defined as a sexual interest in spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing or indulging in sexual activities. And if you think only men love being 'Peeping Toms', you are sorely mistaken because a lot of women too enjoy this kink to the fullest! The very idea of peeping inside a couple's bedroom from a window or being a secret audience to a pleasure act in a park which is otherwise forbidden lends a sexual high to the beholder.

So, if your partner loves to get naughty by watching erotic act, just get him a pair of binoculars, a digital camera or let him use his eyes through that key hole when you are changing your clothes. Add to your partner's experience by parading in the room wearing sensuous lingerie, high heels or by simply making some irresistible moves and see him drooling!

Fantasy # 5: Role playing
Be it the mischevious school girl being spanked by the teacher or a bonded slave getting sexually exploited, role playing has always been a popular fantasy for lovers. A loving partner will surely give a positive nod as Gautam Bakshi did, "I was quite shocked to hear that my otherwise reserved wife dreams of me being a pilot and having steamy sex with a sexy air hostess. Though the idea of enacting the whole thing appeared awkward initially, I realised consequently that it was all about getting experimental and naughty. Thanks to her communicating her desires, today we are far more comfortable, happy and sexually gratified."

Some of the popular avatars that people love donning include employer and maid, where the maid just loves to be at the receiving end from the master and of course the lusty doctor sexually gratifying their needy patient. Suggesting the idea to your partner can be a potentially embarrassing situation initially. But have patience and tell them about the sexual satisfaction both of you can potentially derive if they are part of this sex drama. To get into action, all you need to need are costumes and your acting skills and soon you can realize how exiting it is to blur out the fine line between reality and fantasy!

Word of caution:
Although many couples find that sharing and acting out fantasies is a boost to accentuate intimacy levels between them, there are chances that some might not be very comfortable. Never force your partner if they are reluctant. Instead of elaborating about each and every move and motion of your fantasy, tell your partner about the general theme and later just go with the flow. Don't feel embarrassed if you try acting out your desires and the plan flops. Remember, there's always a second time and what's hot sex without some adventurous experimentation! (TNN)

Foods for your sexual prowess

2009-03-01T16:51:00.002-05:00

Climaxing issues keeping you off sex? Hitting the so-called 'Big O' remains a dream for you? Well, a major reason for your poor sexual prowess can be what lies on your platter.

Nutritionist, Ishi Khosla explains, "Everything that can be summed up as good sex depends to a great extent on your body's blood circulation, which is made or marred by the food that you consume. Food that facilitates the proper pumping of blood in the body adds to your sexual prowess."

So, if you are still searching for the right ingredients to constitute a 'sex-friendly' platter, here's the low down on foods that facilitate the Big O!

1. Go green
And you thought, Popeye, the sailor man gulped cans of cans of spinach just like that! Well, it won't be wrong if we tag spinach as a natural Viagra. This green leafy vegetable is loaded with sexual benefits. "It is rich in Vitamin E, which is a major catalyst in the production of sex hormones in the body. It is also rich in manganese, which facilitates the production of the female hormone estrogen. A deficiency of magnesium also affects a woman's fertility levels," informs nutritionist Aishwarya Rajan. "Green leafy veggies are also loaded with zinc, which is known for its libido and sperm production qualities men," holds dietician Charu Dua.

2. Seeds of fertility
Seeds like flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds, soybeans, chickpeas and sunflower seeds etc. are again friends of sexual hormones. "Consuming one tablespoon of flaxseed every day helps to increase the testosterone level in the body. These seeds are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids, a drop in which affects hormone levels leading to a plummeting sex drive. Pumpkin seeds are also rich in zinc which is a mineral needed to produce testosterone," suggests Delhi-based nutritionist Sanjana Saikia.

3. S for Sea-food
If you have an aversion towards the aqua-species, you better start loving them as they guarantee a smooth sailing sex drive. Be it fish or oysters, they contain the wonder sex drug in them! "Fish is rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, which fires up your metabolism, keeping you fresh. It's also found to boost the hormone dopamine that lights up the brain's pleasure system. Besides, it even contains Vitamin B that is linked to fertility. Oysters known for their aphrodisiacal traits are the richest source of zinc which nourish the prostate gland and boosts testosterone production in men," explains Aishwarya.

4. Go nutty
"All kinds of nuts provide one with energy that's directly proportional to your stamina while having sex," suggests Sanjana. So, feel free to consume your daily dose of nuts, including almonds, pistachios, walnuts, groundnuts etc. After all, stamina and energy are the driving force behind a satisfying sex life.

5. Fruity Pleasure
All fruits, especially those rich in vitamin C can be vital in sexual gratifications. "The body needs vitamin C to keep the sexual organs fine tuned. Tests reveal that consuming 500-1,000 milligrams of vitamin C in a day increases the number and quality of sperm produced," holds nutritionist Aishwarya. Some fruits which fall in this category include citrus fruits, specially kiwi, blackcurrants and strawberries.

6. Spice it up!
The right kind of spices not only spice up your palette, but also your bedroom. "Chilli pepper, red chillies and ginger perk up blood circulation," says Sanjana. So, dig into some spicy food when spicing up things between the sheets.

7. Dark Chocolate
You've got another reason to fall in love with chocolates, specially the darker varirties. Studies reveal that women who eat chocolate daily lead more sexually satisfying sex lives. "Chocolate contains a chemical called phenethylamine that triggers feelings of relaxation, intoxication and pleasure. It releases mood-boosting, stress-reducing serotonin and stimulates physical contact desires and lowers inhibitions," explains endocrinologist Dr Pankaj Aggarwal. So, shun those weighty issues for a while and don't shy away from gorging upon a piece or two of dark chocolate daily.

8. Bananas
Bananas are a great sex food. "Bananas are ideal to give you endurance in the bedroom as they are a rich source of vitamin B that converts carbohydrates into energy. It also helps your body to produce sex hormones such as testosterone, "suggests Aggarwal. Having a banana a few hours before getting into action can keep you pepped up!

9. Olive oil
Orgasm worries in women find an answer in olive oil, which triggers the production of the testosterone hormone. "A lack of this hormone can lead to lack of desire and sexual pleasure and an inability to achieve an orgasm. So, be liberal with monounsaturated fats like olive oil," suggests Charu.

10. Garlic
Though, you'll have to take special care of your breathe before you get into some steamy action after having this wonder sex booster, but a "regular consumption of garlic in food can bring a marked difference in your sexual prowess," suggests Sanjana. (TNN)

Make your first night memorable

2009-03-01T16:05:00.002-05:00

A little anxiety coupled with moments of anticipation and finally some wild thoughts, the perfect first night experience is often sprinkled with moments of coy reservation!

Most couples nurse nervous speculations and deep seated performance anxiety about their first night of closeness. Hearsay from newly wed friends or common beliefs picked up from random sources add to the sexual tension. Knowing the exact way to get it right is an arduous task and if gone wrong, you may end up facing a catastrophic situation in your bedroom with your first nuptial boo-boos.

We spoke to some couples to know the common blunders they made (inadvertently) on their first night. Of course, it wasn't just about 'sex' on the first night, as there were numerous other problems which could ruin the first night craze...

Boo-boo: A moment in haste and its all waste
Without much knowledge about sex, couples encountered awkward situations like premature ejaculation for men or women getting overtly apprehensive about vaginal pain and hymen bleeding. Fear is the biggest factor affecting performance on the first night.

Top Tip: Make the act more pleasurable
No person is a master sex performer, so indulge in a prolonged foreplay session to make your first night a tender bonding experience. Even if things go wrong, stay calm and try again after some time. Sometimes the wedding stress and the discomfort of an all new environment takes a mental toll. The body and mind may not be fully open for the experience of sexual discovery. Being patient is key.

Boo-boo: Experiments can wait
Agreed that it's your first time with your partner, but don't get overtly excited. Couples are all geared up to try new acts in bed, but first try and figure out your partner's comfort quotient.

Top Tip: Every night is a first night
Don't think that the first night is your 'one and only' chance to make love passionately, with time your bond will grow even more special with your better half. The first night is just the beginning of pleasures. Don't fret and waste it in performance anxiety!

Boo-boo: Look sexy in tradition
It's believed that a bride must remain in her wedding outfit and let the husband come and lift up the veil (‘ghoongat’). But modern day brides aren't too interested in donning the ostentatious outfit for too long and the minute they enter the bedroom; they prefer to undress into a sexy lingerie/night gown. Now, no matter how sensuous your night gown maybe, it doesn't have the same charm as a wedding ensemble. This fashion faux pas forms a lesser known, but common goof-up for brides.

Top Tip: Gifts Galore
As the husband lifts up the veil of the bride's wedding outfit, she's entitled to a surprise gift (for 'mooh dikhayee'). Rings, pendants, necklaces are passé; think of something out-of-the-blue, maybe a romantic honeymoon package, which she would be least expecting or a glamorous outfit, a transparent, hot dress, which you'd like her to get clad in just for your eyes.

Boo-Boo: Motor mouth myth
Some might not agree here, but the following is a common occurrence. Your partner is not interested in too much talking, especially on the first night. If you're the new bride, behave like one - blush a little to impart that 'just married' feel. Men should ideally stop narrating a long drawn thesis about their preferences. Being a chatterbox is no less than a slip-up!

Top Tip: Words say a lot more
Don't give each other marathon lessons on your likes and dislikes. Instead writing a romantic letter and keeping it tucked away under the pillow can be a sweet initiating gesture. Open up and talk about your secrets and hidden desires!

Boo-boo: Stop acting as strangers, you're married
We aren't saying shed all inhibitions and get going for a wild act in bed, but at least initiate the process of getting to know each other. Couples often refrain from talking to each other normally on the first night, presuming it's just meant for 'sex!'

Top Tip: Know each other
Start an interesting conversation to break the ice. Share moments you enjoyed on your wedding day and build the comfort level.

Boo-boo: Let the ambiance do the talking
The D-day tiredness is evidently there, but some couples, especially brides, tend to go overboard with the stress factor. This surely is a big turn-off for the other half, as he sees you either sleeping already or all prepared to slip between the sheets without any foreplay act. Just because you're tired!

Top Tip: Ambience unlimited
It's your first night, so your bed may as well resemble a full bloom garden in spring. Decorate it in a way that it sets the mood right for a romantic nighttime ahead. Create a heady ambience with aromatic oils, fragrant flowers, scented bed sheets and sensual music. It will heal your tired souls. Also try a relaxing foot massage to pamper each other. It will set the stage for the real act.

Boo-boo: Forget friends, it's your time to enjoy each other
As per tradition, the bride has to give her young in-laws a bribe to move out of the way before she enters the bedroom. Unfortunately, some in their new 'bahu' avatar tend to allow friends and relatives to come in and sit for hours to gossip, without even realising that the poor hubby is waiting to get spend some alone (private) moments. Grow up girls!

Top Tip: Twosome is the word
Friends and relatives are not going anywhere, stop indulging with them too much, especially on your first night. Concentrate on the man instead and make him feel special and not your in-laws.

The first night is special. Chase your future dreams rather than pining away for distant sexual goals. (TNN)

Ten things women love to hear

2009-03-01T16:00:00.002-05:00

If there's one thing that has always kept men wondering about women, it has to be figuring out what they love to hear? Most men would agree that when it comes to compliments and sweet nothings, women can never have enough of it. The more they get, the more they want!

So, all that you need to do to impress her is – simply tell her all that she already knows. Yes! Strange but true – whether you are in a committed relationship or worried about her losing interest in you or are an amateur wanting to take your relationship to the next level, here's a complete guide to help you learn exactly what she wants to hear...

'You look gorgeous!'

If one could list down three things that women can't live without – they would probably be – good food, a wardrobe to die for and hearty compliments. So, don't be stingy when it comes to wooing her with a shower of compliments. The more you give, the more you are likely to get in return. Say all that she has been dying to hear – whether it is about her looks, her attire, her figure, professionalism at work or her culinary skills. Anudita Mishra, 34, a homemaker says, "I love to be showered with compliments as I think most women do. It gives my ego a boost when my hubby says, 'This dress suits you', or something like – 'You look prettier than any of those ladies I know' or saying, 'I wonder how you look so sexy even in your 30s!' It just makes me feel good about myself.'

Hear say: Dr. Sushma Dayal, a clinical psychologist says, “Each of us like to receive compliments as it improves our self-image. It helps us to get rid of our inhibitions, acts as a motivation and helps us enhance our personality.”

'You are the first woman in my life'

Saying this would certainly assure your girl that you are a 'one woman man' and that you don't keep hopping from one girlfriend to another. This is bound to put her on a pedestal and it will prove to be effective particularly in a long-term relationship. Be careful not to flatter her. Say this only when you mean it so that she never questions your loyalty.

Abhay Bajaj, 26, a marketing professional says, "When I told my girlfriend that she is the first woman in my life, she was utterly surprised. It's funny, but I believe most women have a myth that guys are rarely committed to a single woman. Once she was convinced, she was able to free herself from all insecurities and was head over heels for me."

Hear say: Archana Nanda, a psychologist opines, "Telling a woman that she is the first person you have been so close to is sure to elevate her self-esteem and assure her of your faithfulness. But one shouldn't do this just to just to flatter a woman, say it only when you mean it from the bottom of your heart. It will rip your relationship apart if she finds out that you kept her in the dark about your real emotions."

'You are great in bed'

This is sure to make her feel like a sex goddess and sweep away all the inhibitions she had about her performance between the sheets. Praising her performance in bed and telling her that she is simply irresistible, is sure to set the momentum for a sizzling act later. The more you elevate and understand her sexuality, the more willing she will be to explore her wildest fantasies.

Don't just be grateful for every little effort that she puts to turn you on – say it aloud!

Anant Joshi, 29, (name changed on request) says, "A few months ago I complimented my wife for her performance in bed and I think that was the greatest turn on for her since then. She's now more experimental and also more open to my sexual advances. I think it's not just men but women too who like to be appreciated for the efforts they make in the bedroom."

Hear say: Sunil Garg, an expert on sex-related issues states, "You are sure to boost to a woman's sexuality when you tell her that she was super in the act. It will want her to explore more of herself and not just you. She will be able to connect with you in a sexual context."

'You'll make a great mother'

Most women look forward to having kids, but also tend to doubt themselves when it comes to being a good mother. Saying this is bound to put her on cloud nine – particularly when her man thinks she has all that it takes to be a nurturing mother. In a way, you'll also be assuring her of your commitment and that you would like to bring up your kids with her. Ritu Jaiswal, 27, who got married a year ago, confesses, "It was my husband who made me comfortable with the idea of parenthood. I was always scared of having kids, but he made me feel at ease by assuring me that I'll be a good mother and will do an excellent job as a parent. I am now expecting my first child."

Hear say: “It’s important to assure a woman that she will be a good mother and that she has qualities like compassion and endurance being a good parent. This will make her believe in herself and also prepare her for the new role,” adds Dr. Sushma.

'Will you spend your life with me?'

Most women tend to be ultra sensitive and by saying this you are bound to play music on the chords of her heart. You will also affirm to her that you are not just playing around with her, but are actually looking forward to spending your entire life with her. Tell her how incomplete your life would be without her and that she has now become an indispensable part of your existence. Don't be surprised if you find her smiling for days!

Richa Nanda, 25, who works with an advertising agency in Delhi confesses, "I had been dating a guy for the last six months. We work in the same office. Although I like him very much, I was a bit reluctant to commit to him prematurely. He recently asked me whether I would like to get married to him and it was then that I made up my mind. I was convinced that he is genuinely interested in me and would like to take the relationship further."

Hear say: "I think this is the most difficult thing to ask a woman. It is a very important question and it means asking her for a long-term commitment. So, it is important to be sure before you speak your mind," adds Archana.

'What do you think about .............?'

Ask for her opinion – whether it is about buying a new car or simply about what you should wear to office. By doing this, you are not just asserting that her opinion is important to you, but also that you respect her views. And if you are still in doubt, just remember that women love to express their views on whatever it may be – so let her speak for longer than you may want to hear and let her be the diva who knows it all!

Kanika Shrivastava, 28, who works with a telecom company in Delhi agrees, "I feel really special when my boyfriend asks for my opinion. It boosts my ego. He consults me before taking any major decisions – whether it is regarding his career or investments. I appreciate the fact that he values me not just for my looks but also my brains."

Hear say: “It’s important for a woman to believe that she is an important part of the decision making process. Asking her for advice – no matter how big or small the decision – makes her feel special and respected,” adds Dr. Sushma.

'You are my dearest pal'

Want to assure her that you are the kind of man who's not just with her for her glam looks and her hourglass figure? Well, then all you need to do is to tell her that she is not just the love of your life, but also your dearest friend. Try to establish a connection beyond your sexual interest in her. This is sure to give her ego the much required boost and score you brownie points.

Namita Goswami, 21, a college student says, “The best thing that my boyfriend has ever told me is that he considers me his best friend. Although he has many gal pals, but when it comes to sharing anything special, I am the one he comes to. It is great to find your best friend in your partner.”

Hear say: Manmeet Bhalla, a marriage and relationship counselor opines, "Being a woman's friend is the first step to winning her over. It is important for a woman to believe that she means much more to you than just being your wife or your girlfriend. What she needs to feel is that you count on her – when you are in a problem or a dilemma, when you need advice, when you need a shoulder to cry on."

'I am lucky to have you'

Tell her that she is the only one for you. If not her, you would probably have still been single. Women love to be with men who are amiable and there is no better way to tell her that you are a true gentleman than to thank her for being the person that she is. Tell her that your life is beautiful only because she is a part of it. Don't be surprised if you find her blushing.

Amit Malhotra, 24, a sales executive says, “A year ago, I just told my girlfriend how special she is to me and how lucky I feel to have her in my life and she was thrilled to hear that. Since then I have realised how important it is to be expressive with women.”

Hear say: "Telling a woman that she is your lucky charm is a sure shot way to pamper her. It makes her feel that you have not just accepted her in your life, but you are also grateful to her for her presence. It is the most gratifying thought for a woman," adds Manmeet.

'You know what's on my mind'

Want to make her feel like a supreme goddess? Well, then all you need to do is tell her that she knows what's on your mind before even having to tell her. Whether it is preparing your favourite dish for dinner, buying a gift that you had wanted to buy for yourself or the intensity with which she turns you on in bed. Once she is convinced she knows you better than you do, she won't mind giving you more than you have asked for.

Madhuri Bhargava, 35, senior manager in a private bank in Noida shares, "I have been married for nine years and my husband always tells me that I know him better than he knows himself, or perhaps even his mom does. It makes me feel exceptionally good when he says that. It attaches with itself a sense of belonging to someone and that is what matters the most to me."

Hear say: “Women generally like to be pampered by saying that they know it all. It’s important to convince her that she knows everything about you. It will help keep the spark in your relationship alive,” says Dr. Sushma.

'I love you'

Even though you have said it in every possible way – women place much more importance to these three magical words. So, make sure you say it at the right place and the right time, but when she is least expecting it. Wondering why? Who doesn't love surprises? Especially if you are in a committed relationship, make sure you say it even more often.

“I was thrilled when my boyfriend recently proposed to me. Although I knew that he loves me right from the beginning, but I was just waiting for him to pop the question and say those three special words. I had been dying to hear it from him since a year. It was the most memorable moment of my life,” says Shruti, 23, a management student.
Hear say: "There's nothing better that a woman would want to hear from her man. No matter how much you say it through your actions but most women like men who are expressive. It is very important to say what you feel to keep the romance alive. The more often you say, the better it is," says Manmeet. (TNN)

Casual sex: Feel good factor

2009-03-01T15:53:00.003-05:00

Actress Sherlyn Chopra confessed her need for casual sex as a boost to her self worth. The starlet was quoted as saying she doesn't mind a one-night-stand and if the sex is great, she would feel good about herself.

Aanchal Mehra, a management student agrees, "It's not about being promiscuous, but having sex with a stranger can actually lift your mood. It happened with me once when I was going through a very low phase. I went to a friend's party and hooked up with this guy. We had a blast that night and the next day we parted as friends. I felt desirable and wanted once again, and frankly I felt very happy."

The trend is recent and something that picks up from the frantic pace of urban living. Often hectic schedules and lack of socialising leaves one feeling adrift and sidelined. Thus people draw support in whichever form they can or so observes, psychologist Surendra Mehta, Care clinic, "Casual sex is on the rise because of factors like loneliness, peer pressure, living away from one's home. It happens when there's no faith left in oneself. Think of someone who doesn't have a great job or a fulfilling relationship or lacks friends to bail him/her out in times of crisis. It is then that they fall on measures that they assume can lift their spirits for some time. Sex is more like an addiction just as people tend to eat a lot when depressed."

Women don't get carried away:
Hollywood too swears by the benefits of casual sexual encounters. Leading actress Cameron Diaz for instance recently stated that there isn't a better way to get back in shape than hitting the sack. Studies too have revealed that women are less likely to regret an impromptu fling, if they feel gratified sexually afterwards. Most women don't equate a romp in the sack with a walk down the aisle. Surveys reveal that over 52 per cent believe their most recent casual encounter to be 'just a one-time thing'.

Says actor/anchor Pooja Bedi, "Having sex with someone you don't love doesn't necessarily mean you are committing a grave sin. The best part of today's society is that it is beginning to accept female sexuality. People have various things to lift their spirits, this is one of them, so be it, and it's human after all to crave for touch. And women, just like men want to enjoy their bodies. So there isn't anything wrong in indulging in casual sex as long as you know where to draw the line."

Manish Singh, a software professional, points out, "I think the key is that everyone wants to matter, especially to their sex partners. We have created a world in which we treat sex as a private recreational activity, with no moral or social significance. But when sex is a recreational activity, my partner becomes equivalent to a consumer good. And we all know what we do with consumer goods that cease to satisfy us beyond a point, we get rid of them. In this world of consumer sex, it is socially acceptable to find pleasure with people you don't love. But yes, no one likes to end up feeling used."

Casual sex to reduce boredom
Doctors claim that a session in bed with an unknown face can actually spice up your personal life. Although none would advise it, but the fact remains that it jolts you back out of your boredom and pushes you to being innovative. Says a doctor on condition of anonymity, "I have had patients who find no interest in having sex with their husbands/wives. In fact, they complain of being turned off by the very thought of it. However, a torrid fling outside marriage breathes new life into a sagging relationship with one's spouse. Does it really matter if you get back your stamina and feel good about yourself, even if your spouse was unaware of what went on behind his back?"

A recent study done by the University of Chicago on the sexual lives of adults reveals that housewives bored by their routine look for affairs outside their marriage. In fact, a one-night-stand often reignites the lost spark that may have gotten snuffed out due to marriage and monotony, a la Tabu who played the rebellious wife in the Mahesh Manjrekar's film Astitva.

The real picture
However not all is as hunky dory as you would like to believe. As Mehta puts it, "Sex with no strings attached is a great way to regain your confidence. However, not many people can sustain it. There comes point when you begin to see the worthlessness of the whole enterprise. Despite how much we claim to be liberated, people need a caring relationship all the time. Sex is an act that is over in minutes and cannot ever replace emotions like love and care."

Neerja Tanna (name changed), a journalist, reveals, "I completely believed in casual sex and felt good about it. But there came a point when I began to dread the act. It wasn't the act per se, but the time when it would get over. If the sex wasn't great, it was ok; but when it was exceptionally good, it was difficult to extract myself from that situation. And how do I not look forward to meeting that person again? So in a way I started feeling petrified about having sex with just about anyone."

According to psychologist Suparna Puri, women often get attached while having sex. The hormone Oxytocin or the attachment hormone makes them feel closer to their partner. So she advises, "Be clear about who you want to indulge yourself with". Puri believes it's alright to be daring and adventurous, but warns that the high doesn't last for long. Soon there is a sense of wanting to pull out and starting again.

As Tanna recalls, "I don't believe in casual sex anymore. Because I believe there is more to it than just plain fun. So today I have decided to seek pleasure and adventure in other things. And sex can wait till I get married." Well point taken.

Male Power
In this entire cry about women and sex, it seems men are completely pushed away from the limelight. Could the reason be that sex gets easily associated with men and thus requires not much thought? Says Atul Suri,a consultant with an MNC, "A general conception is that men are more interested in sex. However, I think nowadays women are also free spirited while men are becoming conservative. I can indulge in sexual activities with anyone, but I don't want to. My friends of course do, but I think their outlook is changing as well. Today a guy wants to be just a one-woman-man, both physically and mentally."

Explains Puri, "For men it is no longer about sex and affairs. Men today concentrate on developing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. That could also arise from the fact that they are aware that the society is open to men having casual sex, so it isn't a big deal. However for women to do the same there is the pleasure of breaking barriers and also a sense of power. So it's more of women wanting to try out new things and explore areas so far a taboo to them."

The balance though is heavily tilted towards women. And though the freedom of body is a heady feeling, yet there are certain precautions to be kept in mind:
1. Get yourself checked for AIDS and STD frequently if you are indulging in casual sex.
2. Always, always use a condom or other precautions while having sex.
3. Having a one-night-stand is okay as long as you are consciously aware of what you are doing. You don't want to fall into the wrong hands and get beaten up.
4. Steer clear of strangers who you think come across as "weird". It is better to follow your gut than being sorry later.
5. If you are someone who gets carried away emotionally, then such affairs are definitely not for you.
6. Men take heed and check the background of the person you are going out with. You could easily be led to drugs if you don't watch out.
7. If you feel any kind of discomfort physically after an intercourse, see a doctor immediately.
8. Visit a psychiatrist if you think you are going through an emotional vacuum and need help.
9. Speak to friends, family and close ones if you think your loneliness is the reason for you to hunt partners.
10. Believe in love and care because nothing works better than these. (TNN)

Young women more promiscuous than men

2009-03-01T15:40:00.005-05:00

Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, according to a new survey.

By the age of 21, they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner. The poll of 2,000 by a magazine revealed that one in four young women has slept with more than 10 people, compared with one in five men who had done the same.

Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice. The survey follows an academic study branded Britain one of the casual sex capitals of the Western world, with residents having more one-night stands and more liberal attitudes than those in Australia, France, the Netherlands, Italy and the US.

"Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today's twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed," the Telegraph quoted Lisa Smosarski, the editor the magazine More , as saying.

The survey found that only 1 per cent of young women said that they would wait until marriage to have sex, with the majority losing their virginity at 16. More than 50 per cent said that they were not in love with their first partner and only one in three believe it is important to be in love with someone before going to bed with them.

Seven out of 10 said they had had a one-night stand, with a fifth admitting to having had more than five casual encounters. Also, 60 per cent said they would be prepared to do a "kiss-and-tell" and would sell their account of a one-night-stand with a famous person for 20,000 pounds.

Four out of 10 said they would marry for money or sleep with their boss if it meant they would get promoted, while a quarter would have an affair with a married man.

The survey also found young women are taking "huge risks" with their health, with 38 per cent not using a condom with a new partner and 16 per cent having contracted a sexually transmitted disease. However the respondents still claimed they are not having as much sex as they would like, with 13 per cent claiming their love life is "disappointing" and a further 10 per cent calling it "non-existent".

The survey also found that the average young woman has sex three times a week but would prefer to do it five times. (TNN)

Signs of a perfect sex partner

2009-03-01T15:40:00.003-05:00

Do I have a perfect sex partner?" If not, how can I get one? Indeed a million dollar question that hovers in the minds of most couples!

Though it might be hard to find an absolute sexually compatible partner, but most couples don't even know the traits that they or their better half should posses to be a perfect sex partner.

Having an outstanding sex partner takes a huge burden off an individual's mind. It allows them concentrate more on the act, instead of thinking too much about whether they're making love to the right person or not. When it comes to a perfect sex partner, attributes like height, weight, age, behaviour, choices etc take a backseat. What matters is that he/she suits you and shares an amazing chemistry in the bedroom.

Dr. Kirti Mishra, a clinical physiologist and a relationship expert elucidates, "The idea of a perfect sex partner varies for different individuals, but some common traits like sexually active, experimental in bed, hygienically sound etc are a must, as they are the key for finding sexual bliss. Most couples today are working on their personal attributes to match their partner's prerequisites and thus become a perfect sex partner."

Apart from good looks, a hot body and a heady sex drive, let's explore the less superficial elements of what makes a perfect sex partner. And if your partner bears these qualities in bed, you can unquestionably boast of having a great sex partner...

1. Hygiene holds the key
Everyone likes making love to a clean and tidy partner, so good hygiene holds great importance in a sexual relationship. Ensure that your partner is well manicured with a fully waxed body to ensure a higher comfort level. Too much hair on body makes it uncomfortable to enjoy each inch of your lover. So look out for a soft and clean skin in your partner complemented with a nice smell, as a bad body odour is a huge turn-off.

Hot tip: "During sexual intimacy, everyone wants a hygienically fit partner, as this not only enhances the comfort level, but lets you enjoy the act more. So make sure you seem as fresh as if you have just stepped out of the shower before getting into bed. Sexual scents and aphrodisiacal fragrances are a good choice," recommends Dr. Devesh Roy, a sex therapist.

2. Oral sex shouldn't be an issue
You know what pleases you, so a wonderful partner to have in bed is one who doesn't hesitate going out of the way to give you that pleasure. If not routinely, your partner should be ready to please you orally as per their own mood and comfort level. While no one is perfectly adept at the oral act, but a partner who tries learning the little tricks to arouse you can surely add magic to your love life.

Hot tip: "Don't wait for your partner to tell you or give hints each time they feel like experiencing oral pleasure, instead make it a part of the love making act. It is quite safe and enjoyable as the actual act, so don't be unwilling to go for it," states Dr. Deepak Gupta, a sex expert.

3. Be an adventure lover
Intimacy and passion gets killed if you have a boring partner, who is having sex for the sake of it. Ensure that he/she makes every effort to heighten the sensation by exploring their adventurous side. Having a partner who is open to trying new sexual pleasures is a definite bonus. Right from participating in dirty talks, taking chocolate baths with you, trying out new positions to indulging in naughty love games, he/she should be keen to try sex escapades that make them a perfect bedroom partner.

Hot tip: "Like a weekend getaway gives you a much needed break, sex also can become monotonous after a sluggish period. To liven it up, you need to think out-of-the-box and try all kinds of sexual adventures that ensure a gratifying experience," shares Dr. Kirti.

4. A sexy shape can do wonders
Though weighty issues shouldn't come in way of your sexual pleasure, yet it's natural to look for a partner sans love handles or a bulging belly as an overweight partner can mar your sexual life. Being in top shape gives your body greater flexibility and accentuates your bedroom performance. If seeing your partner semi-naked makes you feel irresistible and you can't think of anything except sex, what else you can ask for!

Hot tip: "Good body shape is always welcomed and what adds to your sex appeal is an appropriate dressing sense with which you can underline your positive features and gear up for a hot bedroom romp. To be a perfect partner in bed, try shedding the accumulated fat on your belly or butt area to boost your performance," suggests Dr. Roy.

5. Propose newer things
It's excellent to take charge in bed sans any inhibitions. But what makes sex even more special is to bring new-fangled sex ideas and implement them. A vivid imagination and voracious desires can contribute to healthy sexuality. With an avid sex lover who is willing to try arousing positions in bed, use sex toys, suggest new ways to climax, explore alternate seduction techniques and foreplay acts, the sex romp can be one of its kind.

Hot tip: "Being innovative is good, but it is of no use if you confine this sexual knowledge just to yourself. Hence, be more forthcoming in your approach and propose new ways to improve your bedroom pleasure and perform actively," advices Dr. Kirti.

6. Fantasy sharing does magic
Communication holds the key to sexual pleasure, so a partner who is keen to discuss their wildest dreams and desires in bed can make sex a heavenly act. No partner can be tagged as sexually perfect until they are open about discussing their innate sexual preferences, as these tell the partner how they can perform. Look out for a partner who is not only open about their fantasies, but also invites you to share yours with a reassurance to fulfill them with ease.

Hot tip: "If you cannot be outspoken about your sexual fantasies, you may resort to measures like penning them down or recording them on a tape. But ensure that it reaches your partner at the right time before you slip between the sheets," says Dr. Gupta. (TNN)

Myths about Orgasm

2009-03-01T15:27:00.004-05:00

Have you ever faced embarrassment when you haven't been able to climax?

Have you ever been subjected to ridicule because you thought you couldn't climax at all? Individuals have a lot of misconceptions regarding the big O. Even as you are flooded with a lot of misinformation, we will try to bust a few of those myths that disturb you every time you think of hitting the sack.

Myth # 1: An orgasm is always an earth shattering experience and there is something wrong if a woman is unable to experience it
Consultant Purvi Sharma felt depressed every time she had sex with her husband. Newly married, she came away feeling dissatisfied and couldn't speak of her feelings to her husband. "I kept feeling that this wasn't the way my friends described their sex encounters. Why didn't I feel like this is it, this is what I was looking out for. And to top it all I wasn't even feeling so great as I had heard others telling me," she discloses.

Fact: Some women have orgasms and don't know it. Gyanacologist Dr. Seema Pandit explains, "Every individual body has a different way of functioning. Different women reach climax in various ways. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. However, they do experience a peak of arousal after which they feel relaxed or contented, the same feelings others experience after experience after an orgasm." According to Pandit, women who get aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometime feel nervous or edgy or even a certain kind of discomfort in their pelvis.

Beat It: Practice taking deep breaths. The key is to relax and enjoy the process than focusing on whether you have reached climax or not. Too much focus will inevitably lead to a lot of frustration and a sense of stress every time you think you haven't climaxed.

Myth# 2: Men do not have G spots
Graphic designer, Shaurya Kumar was under the same myth like others of his group. "I was always under the belief that men do not have G spots. But only after I explored with my partner I realised that all that is humbug. Actually, the body has a number of G spots and it is only for you to find out what you can do with them," says Kumar.

Fact: Every person has certain G spots in their body. However the problem arises because people are not aware of it. Psychologist Mukesh Tiwari reveals, " Men during intercourse climax easily. But rarely do they realise that there is that G spot which can give them immense pleasure. Couples tend to lose interest in sex after some time, because they get tired of the routine. On the other hand, there are some who take the effort to learn their likes and dislikes. G Spots for men exist on their inner thighs and buttocks. So the more one concentrates on these regions, the more is the stimulation."

Beat It: Tell your partner about the particular kind of stroke that will give you maximum stimulation. Learn about the various ways the penis can be stroked and share this with your partner.

Myth # 3: Inability to reach orgasm means a woman is "frigid" or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.
Housewife, Vandana Rai confesses that she never felt aroused enough to have a proper climax at the beginning of her marriage. "I wasn't aroused and never felt like having sex. To the point where I began to feel that something was terribly wrong in our relationship. It was only when we sought counseling that most of my fears about sex melt away and I began to feel more normal."

Fact: Pandit suggests that women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer experience it may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect. "There are women who have never had an orgasm. Again there are those who don't climax because of certain pills, medication they might be taking. In such cases, it is best not to get anxious about the situation. Or wonder whether something is seriously wrong with you or not. Just take the initiative and go and show yourself to a doctor. Professional help will actually ease the situation and give you an insight into what may be actually going wrong."
There are those women too who have never experienced a proper orgasm. For them, Pandit believes, should indulge more into foreplay and oral stimulation and try to reach an orgasm. If that doesn't help, seek counseling which will do away with a lot of inhibitions that clog the mind.

Beat It: Never take undue stress. Communicate your feelings to your partner. Share your anxieties with the one closest to you. Take advise but do not take unwanted suggestions by your peer group. If you are feeling confused, isolated or traumatised then as advised seek professional help.

Myth # 4: "Normal" women achieve climax through intercourse
Richa Rai, a call centre executive recalls, "Most of my friends had told me that climaxing could only take place during sexual intercourse. So obviously I ended up expecting the same with my partner. But I soon realised that it did not work for me. I achieved maximum arousal by oral stimulation. At first I thought I was the odd one out but I decided to be comfortable in my shoes, because there wasn't any harm in the way I was feeling."

Fact: According to psychologist Dr Sudir Kalra, "Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality."
He explains, "In the past, people thought that "mature" women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960's showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity."

Beat It: If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue. Enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Don't put yourself down. It will only make things more difficult for you. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health.

Myth # 5: If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.
Sheetal Ahuja, a primary school teacher reveals her trauma when she was in doubt of her partner. "I did not climax even after we tried a lot of ways. So I ended up with a huge fight with my partner accusing him of not doing enough. The real reason was that I was angry with myself and quite confused. I didn't know what to do or who to ask about it out of sheer embarrassment. So I accused him of all sorts of things."

Fact: Kalra says, "Getting it right in the act takes a lot of practice and patience. Couples will never get it right at the first go. And it is only through experimenting, being open to learning new techniques in the bed and enjoying the act completely will help you discover each others bodies and pleasure points. While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making."

Beat It: Try to fantasise. Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasise, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

Myth # 6: Ejaculation means reaching climax
Aakash Shah, a sales executive explains, "I always thought that I had hit peak when I ejaculated. But my body felt strangely unsatisfied even then. I was exhausted and all that but I wanted to try out other things. After some time I began to ejaculate even without complete arousal. That's when I decided to explore my body and found out amazing things about it."

Fact: Dr Manish Trivedi, urologist Anshuman hospital, explains, "Commonly, it is believed that an orgasm in men happens when they ejaculate. But the truth cannot be far from it. Ejaculation in men is necessary for fertilisation. However men can experience an orgasm without ejaculating. While some men experience orgasmic arousal from all over their body, some get the thrill located at their genital area. The muscles between the perinea region push the seminal fluid along the penile urethra. That's when there is maximum arousal. However, most men sleep off immediately after they have had their first orgasm.

Beat It: If you are those adventurous kinds then try to experiment in bed. Be curious to know about your body. Ask your partner to explore the erogenous areas in your body and speak about your pleasures to her. If there is a certain kind of ambience that helps you get aroused, make the best of it. Never feel shy about discussing your needs.

Myth # 7: Orgasms depend upon penis size
College goer Dev Singh narrates, "My peer group always discussed the size and structure of their penis. And then they would be boasting about it. Friends give a lot of attention to all these things and ended up feeling a loser in the group. In fact I was quite ashamed to discuss it with anyone until my dad found about it and took me to task. S Actually it was him who cleared a lot of myths that I had about size and penis."

Fact: " This is the most prevalent myth. Men have always had inhibitions about their penile size. A bigger size does not guarantee multiple orgasms. The average penis size during erection is between five to six inches and that is enough for pleasure for both the partners. Also pleasure can arise from other parts of the body too. In fact men are of the belief that it their size only that matters," says Trivedi. "Understand that the body comprises of various organs which can give equal pleasure if not more. So do not concentrate all your energy on your penis," he adds.

Beat It: Don't get so hung about numbers. Enjoy yourself in bed with your partner. Stimulate yourself and be in the moment. Don't give in to peer pressure or follow others advises about what to do when you fail to satisfy your partner. Sex is about letting yourself be involved with every kind of feeling.

Myth# 8: Penises without foreskin better for orgasm
"I have heard about it but never verified it with anyone. But anyways, I do not believe in such kind of rumours. I think we have given something by nature and should be completely satisfied by it. No amount of surgery or anything else will help you feel more or less pleasure. Whatever is there, just make the most of it," explains Ravi Rao, a manager with a MNC.

Fact: Tiwari explains that men experience maximum stimulation without or without the foreskin. "The foreskin however does contain a rich variety of receptors and nerve ends than any other part of the penis. That is the reason that men circumscribed feel unjustly deprived of their full sexual potential. Do not go by beliefs and culture. Sex is a very personal experience and the brain is functioned to experience it to the hilt," explains Tiwari.

Beat It: Follow your own rhythm and routine. If you are comfortable in a certain kind of posture, go for it. Do not let your inhibitions or rumours get the better of you. Practice yoga, meditation and a hygienic lifestyle to look and feel better. (TNN)

Eight wonder ways for a flat tummy!

2009-03-01T13:38:00.003-05:00

Blame it on SRK’s six-pack-magic, Aamir’s eight-pack-charisma or Priyanka’s hot bikini bod, but flaunting the flattest tummy and a set of well toned abs is the latest dream for many youngsters.

But, they usually tend to forget that it takes more than just basic crunches and crash dieting to carve a drool worthy, flat stomach. Explains fitness trainer, Deanne Pandey, “Ab exercises + cardio exercises + right diet – this is the most effective formula to achieve well-toned abdominal muscles. Missing upon any one of these will take away the real impact of an abs-workout.”

“An ideal diet and workout for every individual depends upon his/her weight loss requirement, body type and body shape,” suggests Pandey. For instance, a pear shaped person may indulge in a less strenuous workout and minimal diet modifications to get the desired tummy in comparison to an apple shaped body, who is usually heavy in the tummy area.

Here are a set of workout and physical activities, which when combined with an ideal eating plan and cardio workouts can assure you of the killer abs that you always dreamt of...

1. Naukasana: A common yoga posture that works wonders on your abs.
Method: Lie flat on the ground, with your back on the floor. Raise your upper body and legs to an angle of 30 degrees and hold the posture for 30-40 seconds, then relax. Repeat this asana for 10 times to begin with, graduating to 30 times. Breathe normally all through the work out.
“Holding onto the posture tightens and contracts your upper and lower abs while repeating the movement tones them up,” tells yoga expert Usha Chegappa of Bharat Thankur’s Artistic Yoga.

2. Ushtrasana: It is the counter pose to naukasana .
Method: Stand on your knees, with heels facing upwards. Arch your back, placing your hands on your knees one by one. Hold your head behind pushing your belly outwards. Hold this posture for 30 seconds and repeat 30 times.
“During naukasana , the ab muscles contract building up tension in the area, while ushtrasana releases the tension by giving your tummy a good stretch. It is important to practice ushtrasana after naukasana to save one's back from injury,” explains Usha.

3. Basic crunch: The good old crunch still remains the best exercise to bag the perfect abs.
Method: Lie on the floor with your legs off the floor in a right angle. Keep your shoulders just above the floor. Breathe in and bring your knees in towards your chest, while lifting your upper body to an angle of 30 degrees and breathe out while you relax. Repeat this exercise 15-20 times to begin with.
“Don’t arch your back. The crunches will help you contract your abdomninal muscles giving them an effective workout,” suggests Deanne.

4. Bridging: Stretch till you feel the burn!
Method: Lie flat on the floor with your hands resting by your sides, feet flat on the floor, shoulder width apart and knees bent. Now, contract your abdominals, lower back and gluts and slowly lift your midsection to form a bridge from your knees, through your hips to your shoulders. Hold this position for a few seconds, and then slowly lower. Fitness expert Kiran Swahney suggests, “Avoid this exercise in case you are suffering from lower back problems.”

5. Lying Torso Twists: Twisting motion stretches the oblique muscles.
Method: Lie on the floor with knees pulled over your chest. Place a ball between your knees and stretch arms to the sides like an airplane, palms facing up. Contract your abs and twist your hips to the right, bringing knees towards the floor Don’t touch the floor, but use your abs to bring your knees back to the start and go to the other side.
“Make sure your shoulders lie flat on the floor and keep breathing normally,” advises Kiran.

6. Cycling: Not on the cycle, but on the floor.
Method: Lie on the floor and raise your legs. Make slow pedaling motions with both your legs alternatively. Keep breathing normally. Touch your left elbow to your right knee, then your right elbow to your left knee.
“The slower and controlled are the motions, more is the pressure exerted on your abs giving better results,” explains Deanne.

7. Side plank: targeted to your oblique muscles or side abs.
Method: Lie down on your side with elbows supporting your body above the ground. Now lift your body sideways. This will make you feel the stretch on your oblique muscles giving them a good workout. 2-3 sets of 15-20 movements are ideal.
“Make sure your body is in one line without any bends and arches. If indulging in a strenuous workout is on your mind, hold in the position and pulsate,” adds Deanne.

8. Dancing wonders: Feel the pulse
“Stomach muscles are core muscles involved in any kind of dancing. A toned stomach accentuates your moves, while dance movements make your stomach sexy. It’s a co-related process,” says dance instructor, Nanda Kundu.
Some of the dance forms that can help you tone your stomach include Lindy Hop, Jive, cha cha and belly dancing. “All these forms of dance involve lots of lifts, dips and tricks which give a great workout to the stomach muscles,” adds Nanda.

The above mentioned abdominal muscles are required to be repeated over a period of time to get desired results. “Give sufficient rest between abdominal exercises and sets. Increase the amount of repetitions that you perform each week by two times, until you can comfortably perform 20 repititions of each abdominal exercise,” advises Kiran.

“With adequate diet and a regular workout, the effects can be felt in as many as just seven days,” adds Usha. (TNN)

Photo of a 'beaten' Rihanna leaked

2009-02-20T17:20:00.004-05:00

Police in Los Angeles were investigating Friday the leak of a photo that appeared to show the battered face of pop star Rihanna after an incident involving boyfriend Chris Brown this month.

The celebrity news website TMZ.com published a photo it said was R&B star Rihanna with a series of clearly visible scratches and bruises.

Singer-songwriter Brown is alleged to have attacked the Barbados-born star after an argument in Los Angeles on February 8 that led to Rihanna canceling a scheduled appearance at the Grammys.

Brown surrendered to police for questioning and was booked on suspicion of making a felony threat before being released on a 50,000-dollar bail.

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has so far refused to formally identify Rihanna as the victim, citing confidentiality rules regarding domestic violence cases.

In a statement Friday, the department again did not identify Rihanna, saying only that a photo with "the appearance of one taken during an official domestic violence investigation" had appeared on a website.

The statement warned that anyone leaking information could be sacked. "The Los Angeles Police Department takes seriously its duty to maintain the confidentiality of victims of domestic violence," a department statement said.

Rihanna this week cancelled scheduled concerts in Malaysia and Indonesia. (AP)

Bar Refaeli Photos-2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Video

2009-02-10T21:12:00.012-05:00

Bar Refaeli, better known as Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend, graces the cover of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

2009 SI Issue

2008 SI Issue

2007 SI Issue

Other Videos

Salma Hayek Breastfeeds African Baby (VIDEO)

2009-02-10T21:07:00.001-05:00

Salma Hayek let "Nightline" and Cynthia McFadden follow her on a goodwill trip to Sierra Leone a few months ago, and while there she breastfeed a newborn baby boy whose mother had no milk.

Hayek's own daughter Valentina turned one just before she took the trip.

She spoke of the incident recently, and it turns out "Nightline" aired video of the feeding.

"The baby was perfectly healthy, but the mother didn't have milk. He was very hungry. I was weaning Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk that I was pumping, so I breast-fed the baby. You should have seen his eyes. When he felt the nourishment, he immediately stopped crying."

Rihanna left with 'bite marks and injuries to face' after alleged assault by singer boyfriend Chris Brown

2009-02-10T19:24:00.003-05:00

Police are investigating claims that pop singer Rihanna suffered bite marks and injuries to her face in a domestic assault.

The 20-year-old Umbrella singer's boyfriend Chris Brown, 19, has been charged with making criminal threats following an incident that led to the couple missing Sunday's Grammy awards.
Rihanna has not been seen since the row in Brown's Lamborghini - said to be over his womanising - but police confirmed the victim was sporting 'visible injuries'.

The Barbadian star received medical treatment at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for swelling and bruises after the argument with Brown in the early hours of Sunday morning, according to TMZ.com.

The website reported Rihanna suffered swelling and bruising to her face and had bite marks on her arms and fingers.

The young couple were reported to have got into a heated argument in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles after attending a pre-Grammy party at the Beverly Hills Hilton on Saturday night.

Locals who overheard the altercation called police, who found Brown had fled the scene by the time they arrived.

Police confirmed the victim had suffered visible injuries and identified Brown as her attacker.

Brown handed himself into police authorities on Sunday evening and was charged with making criminal threats, although police sources say further charges of domestic violence may be added later.

He is currently free on $50,000 bail and is scheduled to appear in court on March 5th.

Brown has hired celebrity lawyer Mark Geragos, who defended Winona Ryder during her shoplifting trial and Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial.

LAPD Sergeant Bridget Pickett said: 'The exact charge was criminal threats and it is going to be investigated as a criminal threats investigation.

'There may be domestic violence charges added later, but that will be up to the district attorney's office.'

Following the weekend's drama, Rihanna has postponed her sold-out concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, which was scheduled to take place on Friday.

Concert organiser Pineapple Productions released a statement: 'In light of recent events involving Rihanna, her agent will confirm within two weeks from now on a replacement date to be mutually agreed.

'We sincerely regret this unavoidable shift in schedule and apologise to the fans for any inconvenience caused.'

The singer's record label has also cancelled a lavish party planned for her 21st birthday in New York on February 20.

An eyewitness at the Cedars-Sinai hospital told Radar magazine's website that Rihanna, real name Robyn Fenty, was clearly distressed when she arrived.

The onlooker said: 'Rihanna was clearly very upset by what happened and I could hear her screaming. Rihanna was trying to get her point across about something. She sounded like she was crying.'

Hours before the Grammy Awards were due to start, both Rihanna and Brown seperately pulled out of their planned performances at the star-studded ceremony.

The Umbrella singer's publicist declined to comment on the alleged assault, but said: 'Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support.'

Since Brown's arrest, chewing gum firm Wrigley's announced they are suspending their ad campaign starring the 'Run It' singer.

In a statement, Wrigley's said: 'We have made the decision to suspend the current advertising featuring Brown and any related marketing communications until the matter is resolved.

Brown has also pulled out of a charity basketball event in Phoenix on Sunday.

In the meanwhile, Brown is clocking up a huge rental bill after the silver Lambourghini he rented for the weekend has been impounded in a LA police lot as potential evidence.

The luxury car, rented from Platinum Motorsport, costs $2,000 a day to hire.
In 2007, Brown admitted in an interview with American magazine Giant, he his family had suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his stepfather.

He said: 'He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed.

'I was crying and thinking, "I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day…" I hate him to this day.'

On the Tyra Banks chat show, he said his childhood experience had make him respectful of women: 'It affected me…especially toward women, I treat them differently. Because I don't want to go through the same thing or put a woman through the same thing that that person put my mom through.' (Dailymail)